The 10 Dumbest Ways You Injured Yourselves In The Military

Humor
U.S. Soldiers with the 82nd Airborne Division detain a simulated hostile civilian while conducting a crowd riot control scenario during a Kosovo Force (KFOR) mission rehearsal exercise (MRE) at the Joint Multinational Readiness Center in Hohenfels, Germany, June 30, 2017.
U.S. Army photo by Spc. Randy Wren

Military service obviously comes with considerable bodily risk — there’s all that service abroad, at sea, or in a no-shit warzone… plus hazardous training.


But sometimes you end up getting hurt because you just liked the idea of a drunken night run in a gas mask to the base bar before it closed. Or you decided that stand-up jousting on a rolly chair in the barracks was a great new sport.

Not, uh, that we at Task & Purpose have any experience there.

But, knowing that not every war wound is, you know, a war wound, we turned to you, our loyal readers, to tell us about the dumb things you did to end up at sick call, where an exhausted medic or corpsman was on hand to toss out Motrin and sage advice like “Change your socks, and don’t do that again, idiot.”

Here are ten dumb ways to hurt yourself while in the military. (Or anywhere, really; some of these are just: Wow.)

“I’ll give you $40 if you…”

That wouldn’t have happened if you’d worn your safety belt.

Lieutenant: “Follow me, guys!”

“That guy came outta nowhere.”

Two words: buffer rodeo.

“Sure, I’ll just whip my junk out. What could go wrong?”

Breaking two bones in your arm...during a sprint.

If at first you don’t succeed, stop?

Mattress surfing.

Hey, it worked in Smokey and the Bandit.

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