This 1980s Army Commercial Is The Hottest Thing To Come Out Of The Cold War

Humor
Will America ever be THIS great again?
Photo via Wikimedia Commons

These days, U.S. military recruitment videos reek of Hollywood sensationalism, as if joining the armed forces will automatically transform you into Jason Bourne. There’s no heart. No soul. No balls. But back in the ‘80s, when men were men and women had mullets, the military’s recruitment strategy was all red, white, and blue. Take this 1988 country music-inflected Army commercial, for example. If this doesn’t make you want to serve your country, well, comrade, you might as well start saving up for that hammer and sickle tattoo now.


Titled “Freedom Isn’t Free,” the video harkens back to the good old days, long before Snapchat, “Keeping Up With The Kardashians,” and pumpkin spice frappuccino lattes. The premise is simple: Life in Cold War-era small town America is perfect and beautiful in every way — like a slice of grandma’s apple pie, or a glass of sweet tea on a hot summer day, or a six pack of Budweiser tall boys after work, or a Sonic double bacon cheeseburger delivered right to the window of your F-150 by a bucktoothed kid on roller skates.

Related: This psychadelic 1970s airborne recruitment video is vintage gold »

But that kind of freedom isn’t free. No way. It must be earned, with bullets, bombs, and human blood. Yes, war sucks. There’s a lot of rain and mud involved, and the face paint gets messy. But those hippies up in New York City or San Francisco are too busy snorting cocaine and reading “The Communist Manifesto” to give a shit about freedom. So get your ass down to the nearest recruitment station and sign the fuck up, John…or Jim, or Bob, or Bill. There’s trouble brewing in Panama and Manuel Noriega isn’t going to depose himself.

PREPARE TO GET PUMPED.

Army and Air Force Exchange Service officials are warning soldiers and military families to be aware of scammers using the Exchange's logo.

In a news release Wednesday, Exchange officials said scammers using the name "Exchange Inc." have "fooled" soldiers and airmen to broker the sale of used cars, trucks, motorcycles, boats and boat engines.

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The Saturday night attack came as the Taliban and the United States try to negotiate an agreement on the withdrawal of U.S. forces in exchange for a Taliban commitment on security and peace talks with Afghanistan's U.S.-backed government.

Islamic State fighters, who first appeared in Afghanistan in 2014 and have since made inroads in the east and north, are not involved in the talks. They are battling government and U.S.-led international forces and the Taliban.

The group, in a statement on the messaging website Telegram, claimed responsibility for the attack at a west Kabul wedding hall in a minority Shi'ite neighborhood, saying its bomber had been able to infiltrate the reception and detonate his explosives in the crowd of "infidels".

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U.S. Air Force/Tech. Sgt. Brian Kimball

Editor's Note: This article by Oriana Pawlyk originally appeared on Military.com, a leading source of news for the military and veteran community.

Calling aviation geeks in New York City: The British are coming.

In their first visit to the United States since 2008, the Royal Air Force "Red Arrows" will perform an aerial demonstration next week over the Hudson River, according to an Air Force news release. F-35 Joint Strike Fighters, the Air Force Thunderbirds and Navy Blue Angels demonstration teams will also be part of the show.

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U.S. Air National Guard/Staff Sgt. Michelle Y. Alvarez-Rea

Frances and Efrain Santiago, natives of Puerto Rico, wanted to show their support last month for protesters back home seeking to oust the island's governor.

The couple flew the flag of Puerto Rico on the garage of their Kissimmee home. It ticked off the homeowners association.

Someone from the Rolling Hills Estates Homeowners Association left a letter at their home, citing a "flag violation" and warning: "Please rectify the listed violation or you may incur a fine."

Frances Santiago, 38, an Army veteran, demanded to know why.

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Todd Rosenberg/AP

A West Point graduate received a waiver from the U.S. Army to sign with the Philadelphia Eagles on Friday, and play in the NFL while serving as an active-duty soldier.

The waiver for 2nd Lt. Brett Toth was first reported by ESPN's Adam Schefter, who said that Toth signed a three-year deal with the Eagles. Toth graduated from the U.S. Military Academy in 2018.

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