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4 Simple Ways To Avoid Screwing Up Valentine’s Day...For Once
Walking through any store in late January to early February is a nightmare. Every aisle is strewn with ribbons and hearts all pink, red, floral, and chocolate. It’s inevitable: Valentine’s Day is upon us. Look, we all know it’s a capitalist greeting card holiday, but trust me, your girlfriend (or boyfriend) wants you to give a shit.
1. Acknowledge that it’s happening.
It’s happening whether or not you celebrate it, but if you’re in a relationship, it’s wise to accept it as a thing you need to celebrate. As a girl, I wield a lot of knowledge about the female psyche. We are going to tell you we hate Valentine’s Day because it’s a contrived, forced celebration of love. And although the sensible parts of us know this is true, when we say it to you, it is most definitely a lie. We know you hate it, but we’re irrational. Just play it safe and assume we want a Valentine’s Day celebration of some sort. Also, for you women reading this, men like chocolate too. This shit goes both ways.
2. Order the flowers ASAP. Don’t wait until Feb. 14 and end up with the shitty leftovers.
Buy your flowers early. Or chocolates. Or that six-foot-tall Teddy Bear stuffed with 10 million rose petals that sings “My Funny Valentine.” But really, if you are doing long distance and plan to send something to your girlfriend, account for shipping time. If you try to hit up 1800flowers.com 12 hours before Valentine’s Day, you’re going to fail at getting flowers at all. That, or you’re going to end up sending a $90 bouquet of orange striped carnations, and she’ll hate it.
3. Make a reservation for a restaurant. A good one.
If you are home or on leave to celebrate Valentine’s Day, make a reservation. It’s is a huge day for dinner dates. Do not assume that you will be able to just wander into a restaurant with your significant other. Valentine’s Day is not about spontaneity. It’s about strategery, tactical strategery. Don’t know where to go? This is not the day to ask your single buddies for recommendations. There’s a reason they are single. Try Yelp, or ask someone who is in some semblance of a grown-up relationship.
4. Don’t like these tips? Then you should probably just break up with your significant other.
Being single is perhaps the most obvious way to avoid fucking up Valentine’s Day. That way there is no one to disappoint but yourself. But let’s be real, there is nothing sadder than crushing eight Miller Lites alone while watching Wedding Crashers for the 157th time all while wondering, “Goddamn, what is wrong with Owen Wilson’s nose?” Or, maybe that’s just a Saturday for you.
Editor's note: A combat wounded veteran, Ryan served in the U.S. Army as an armor officer assigned to 1st Battalion, 13th Armor Regiment. While deployed to Iraq in 2005, his vehicle was hit with an improvised explosive device buried in the road. He works as the Wounded Warrior Project's national Combat Stress Recovery Program director.
On Nov. 29, 2005, my life changed forever. I was a 24-year-old U.S. Army armor captain deployed to Taji, Iraq, when my vehicle was struck by an improvised explosive device. On that day, I lost two of my soldiers, Sgts. Jerry Mills and Donald Hasse, and I lost my right arm and left leg.
Fatal training accidents are on the rise. Now the families of the fallen are pushing lawmakers to do something about it
CAMP PENDLETON — Susan and Michael McDowell attended a memorial in June for their son, 1st Lt. Conor McDowell. Kathleen Isabel Bourque, the love of Conor's life, joined them. None of them had anticipated what they would be going through.
Conor, the McDowells' only child, was killed during a vehicle rollover accident in the Las Pulgas area of Camp Pendleton during routine Marine training on May 9. He was 24.
Just weeks before that emotional ceremony, Alexandrina Braica, her husband and five children attended a similar memorial at the same military base, this to honor Staff Sgt. Joshua Braica, a member of the 1st Marine Raider Battalion who also was killed in a rollover accident, April 13, at age 29.
Braica, of Sacramento, was married and had a 4 1/2-month-old son.
"To see the love they had for Josh and to see the respect and appreciation was very emotional," Alexandrina Braica said of the battalion. "They spoke very highly of him and what a great leader he was. One of his commanders said, 'He was already the man he was because of the way he was raised.' As parents, we were given some credit."
While the tributes helped the McDowells and Braicas process their grief, the families remain unclear about what caused the training fatalities. They expected their sons eventually would deploy and put their lives at risk, but they didn't expect either would die while training on base.
"We're all still in denial, 'Did this really happen? Is he really gone?' Braica said. "When I got the phone call, Josh was not on my mind. That's why we were at peace. He was always in training and I never felt that it would happen at Camp Pendleton."
North Korea threatens to resume nuclear weapons and ICBM tests if US-South Korea military exercises proceed
SEOUL (Reuters) - The United States looks set to break a promise not to hold military exercises with South Korea, putting talks aimed at getting North Korea to abandon its nuclear weapons at risk, the North Korean Foreign Ministry said on Tuesday.
The United States' pattern of "unilaterally reneging on its commitments" is leading Pyongyang to reconsider its own commitments to discontinue tests of nuclear weapons and intercontinental ballistic missiles (ICBMs), the ministry said in a pair of statements released through state news agency KCNA.
Customs and Border Patrol denied a Marine vet entry into the US for his a scheduled citizenship interview
A deported Marine Corps veteran who has been unable to come back to the U.S. for more than a decade was denied entry to the country Monday morning when he asked to be let in for a scheduled citizenship interview.
Roman Sabal, 58, originally from Belize, came to the San Ysidro Port of Entry around 7:30 on Monday morning with an attorney to ask for "parole" to attend his naturalization interview scheduled for a little before noon in downtown San Diego. Border officials have the authority to temporarily allow people into the country on parole for "humanitarian or significant public benefit" reasons.
Navy Secretary Richard Spencer took the reins at the Pentagon on Monday, becoming the third acting defense secretary since January.
Spencer is expected to temporarily lead the Pentagon while the Senate considers Army Secretary Mark Esper's nomination to succeed James Mattis as defense secretary. The Senate officially received Esper's nomination on Monday.