Famed psychologist Elizabeth Kubler Ross established five stages of grief: Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. We're pretty confident she was talking about the loss of a loved one or dealing with your own mortality, but we're also pretty sure the stages can be applied to PCSing.
Moving is definitely traumatic. Especially when you actually like where you're stationed… Here are the five stages of grief as applied to PCSing.
It only took a year, but you've figured out what light switch controls which lights and where the optimal place for the couch is in your house; the sandwich shop down the street knows your order; and your kids actually have friends and somehow like it where you are. Ah, military moving complacency.
Just when you're feeling settled, it's time to go. Not just a river in Africa my friends, denial is real. If you hear yourself say, "There's a good chance we could stay here," or "I'm not ready to move yet," or some iteration of lying to yourself or your family that it's really happening, then welcome to this phase.. Step one of any sort of self help program is to admit you have a problem.
Phase two of the PCS grief cycle is anger. In case you missed it, moving sucks.
You're mad you have to leave your friends.
You're upset the military is disrupting your kids' school year.
You're furious that the barber you finally found who doesn't make it look like you lost a bet every two weeks can't come with you.
PCSing is for the birds and you want no part of it. Welcome to anger, my friend. But before you put your fist through a wall or drowned your sorrows in some low shelf bottle from the package store, try to take a deep breath and know that the pain is only temporary. It has to get better. In theory.
Oh the joys of bargaining. This is the part of the process where you are begging your detailer for anywhere but 29 Palms or Minot. The back and forth of yes, I'll take a worse assignment to avoid that location is legit.
The PCS tango is a real dance and we've seen it first hand. If you've ever bartered a few months for a different location, you know exactly what we're talking about.
If you've ever watched poker, you know this moment well: when the player has thrown in their last chip and all the cards are on the table. The poker face doesn't matter anymore - they've lost.
Instant sadness, regret, remorse (basically all the synonyms for depression) sets in. You're moving. It's the worst.
You're overwhelmed with the ten thousand tasks and the reality of your situation. It's sad, boo. We get it. You're allowed to sit in the sadness for a few minutes. Because before you can get to the final phase of acceptance, you have to go through these other steps.
The last phase of grief is acceptance. It might be the moment you text your parents to tell them where you're heading, or after you sit down with the kids with your bravest (fakest?) "this will be a great adventure!" face.
PCSing is hard on an individual and a family. But if you go into it with a mindset that it could be the next great chapter in your story, chances are it will be. And, luckily for us, PCSgrades has incredible resources to make sure that's the case. From advice on where to live, moving companies to use and avoid and more information on your new location than you ever thought would be possible, they've got you covered.
Visit PCSgrades today to move from grieving to getting excited.
This post sponsored by PCSgrades.
NASA is reportedly investigating one of its astronauts in a case that appears to involve the first allegations of criminal activity from space.
Hackers could have breached US bioterrorism defenses for years, records show. We'll never know if they did
The Department of Homeland Security stored sensitive data from the nation's bioterrorism defense program on an insecure website where it was vulnerable to attacks by hackers for over a decade, according to government documents reviewed by The Los Angeles Times.
The data included the locations of at least some BioWatch air samplers, which are installed at subway stations and other public locations in more than 30 U.S. cities and are designed to detect anthrax or other airborne biological weapons, Homeland Security officials confirmed. It also included the results of tests for possible pathogens, a list of biological agents that could be detected and response plans that would be put in place in the event of an attack.
The information — housed on a dot-org website run by a private contractor — has been moved behind a secure federal government firewall, and the website was shut down in May. But Homeland Security officials acknowledge they do not know whether hackers ever gained access to the data.
The State Department doesn't really care if its human rights training for partner security forces is working or not
By law, the United States is required to promote "human rights and fundamental freedoms" when it trains foreign militaries. So it makes sense that if the U.S. government is going to spend billions on foreign security assistance every year, it should probably systematically track whether that human rights training is actually having an impact or not, right?
Apparently not. According to a new audit from the Government Accountability Office, both the Departments of Defense and State "have not assessed the effectiveness of human rights training for foreign security forces" — and while the Pentagon agreed to establish a process to do so, State simply can't be bothered.
A Kansas VA hospital police supervisor reported 'dangerous' deficiencies among his officers. Now he says he faced retaliation
The Kansas City VA Medical Center is still dealing with the fallout of a violent confrontation last year between one of its police officers and a patient, with the Kansas City Police Department launching a homicide investigation.
And now Topeka's VA hospital is dealing with an internal dispute between leaders of its Veterans Affairs police force that raises new questions about how the agency nationwide treats patients — and the officers who report misconduct by colleagues.
A New Mexico woman was charged Friday in the robbery and homicide of a Marine Corps veteran from Belen late last month after allegedly watching her boyfriend kill the man and torch his car to hide evidence.