Here Are The 5 Worst States For Surviving The Zombie Apocalypse

Lifestyle

Like tens of millions of other Americans, I am completely obsessed with AMC’s “The Walking Dead.” One unintended consequence of being into the show is that I tend to spend a lot of time planning for the totally realistic threat of the definitely inevitable zombie apocalypse.


One question that always looms is where I would go — and, more to the point, where I should avoid going — during a zombie plague. Through research, common sense, and popular opinion, Task & Purpose has developed this totally scientific list of the five worst states for surviving the zombie apocalypse. Preppers, get prepping.

Georgia

Wikimedia Commons

Have you seen “The Walking Dead”? Most residents of Georgia — the show’s main setting — sure haven’t: According to Estately, Georgians show little interest in the zombie apocalypse. People who don’t watch a series about zombies running roughshod over their home state probably don’t have a zombie disaster plan, putting them at a huge disadvantage. In addition, the Centers for Disease Control are headquartered in Atlanta, and you could surmise that’s probably where a zombie virus could originate. Then again, the CDC itself houses some specimens that are probably as deadly as a zombie virus. Our advice? Stay away from Georgia.

Kansas

Wikimedia Commons

Despite the fact that Kansas Gov. Sam Brownback signed a proclamation in 2015 officially making October “Zombie Preparedness Month,” we disagree that this is a state where you want to be during the zombie apocalypse. It has flat terrain, is largely featureless, and is landlocked east of the Rocky Mountains. That means there are few places to hide from zombies, and just about any migratory pattern the undead take across America leads them to take this “flyover” state in a walkover. Oh, and tornadoes. Didn’t you learn anything from “The Wizard of Oz”? Imagine a tornado full of zombies.

Washington, D.C.

Wikimedia Commons

Mass urban areas are notoriously bad places to be during a zombie apocalypse. What’s more, D.C. has virtually no legal private guns. Unless you are one of the privileged few who get invited into the president’s bunker, you are as good as undead. And though the District is fairly well-equipped for defense — those Metro stations can handle anything except an on-time train — D.C. ranks as one of the worst locales in the country in terms of food supply. All those wholesome fruits and vegetables healthy D.C.-ists like to eat? Poor survival food: They won’t last and they won’t be resupplied. And you can forget trying to escape. Beltway traffic would be murder… literally.

Hawaii

Wikimedia Commons

Though you might think that beautiful volcanic islands are the best place to escape a zombie outbreak, you might actually do well to avoid Hawaii. The remote island chain requires frequent shipments of supplies from the mainland. Though we suppose you could go native, ala Tom Hanks in “Castaway,” and start fishing and foregoing dental hygiene. We don’t recommend this. The threat of volcanic eruption is ever-looming. Plus, if just a single zombie makes it onto a Hawaii-bound ship, you and your fellow island survivors will be going from Oahu to “OH NO” in no time flat.

Florida

Vimeo/Seth Bunting

Everyone is old. Apart from the spring breakers, who are practically zombies already. Because a plurality of the residents are retirees, they’re slower, making their brains ripe for zombie pickings. To add insult to undead bite, you also have to contend with the constant threat of alligators, daily thunderstorms, and, well, other Floridians, most of whom are armed and some of whom make Negan look like a pretty reasonable guy. And again, we’re pretty sure they already have zombies. Bath salts, anyone?

(Courtesy of Jackie Melendrez)

Editor's Note: The following story highlights a veteran at Iron Mountain. Committed to including talented members of the military community in its workplace, Iron Mountain is a client of Hirepurpose, a Task & Purpose sister company. Learn more here.

Jackie Melendrez couldn't be prouder of her husband, her sons, and the fact that she works for the trucking company Iron Mountain. This regional router has been a Mountaineer since 2017, and says the support she receives as a military spouse and mother is unparalleled.

Read More Show Less
Photo: U.S. Army

Master Sgt. Larry Hawks, a retired engineer sergeant who served with 3rd Special Forces Group, is being awarded the Distinguished Service Cross on Friday for "valorous actions" in Afghanistan in 2005.

Read More Show Less

The Iranians just blasted one of the US military's most sophisticated and expensive drones out of the sky as tensions in the Strait of Hormuz reach the boiling point.

Read More Show Less
(Reuters/Lawrence Hurley)

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - A 40-foot-tall (12 meters) cross-shaped war memorial standing on public land in Maryland does not constitute government endorsement of religion, the Supreme Court ruled on Thursday in a decision that leaves unanswered questions about the boundaries of the U.S. Constitution's separation of church and state.

The justices were divided on many of the legal issues but the vote was 7-2 to overturn a lower court ruling that had declared the so-called Peace Cross in Bladensburg unconstitutional in a legal challenge mounted by the American Humanist Association, a group that advocates for secular governance. The concrete cross was erected in 1925 as a memorial to troops killed in World War One.

The ruling made it clear that a long-standing monument in the shape of a Christian cross on public land was permissible but the justices were divided over whether other types of religious displays and symbols on government property would be allowed. Those issues are likely to come before the court in future cases.

Read More Show Less
(Associated Press/Facebook)

A relative of the man who opened fire outside downtown Dallas' federal building this week warned the FBI in 2016 that he shouldn't be allowed to buy a gun because he was depressed and suicidal, his mother said Thursday.

Brian Clyde's half-brother called the FBI about his concerns, their mother Nubia Brede Solis said. Clyde was in the Army at the time.

On Monday, Clyde opened fire with an AR-15-style rifle at the Earle Cabell Federal Building. He was fatally shot by federal law enforcement. No one else was seriously injured. His family believes Clyde wanted to be killed.

Read More Show Less