6 things the military does that are way better in moderation

popular
(U.S. Navy photo by Mass Communication Specialist Seaman Quentin M. Todd/Released)

We all know service members like to push it to the extremes. Biggest, baddest, fastest; we like to do everything to the absolute -est. It's what we're known for: doing more with less, going places others can't go, first in, last out, you know, all those things. But sometimes in life, moderation is key.

Here are 6 things you see in the military where less really is more.


1. MREs

U.S. Air Force photo by Airman 1st Class Erick Requad

You know Meals Ready to Eat were developed to keep you alive, right? Those little packs of 1,250 mostly bland calories developed by the Defense Department in the 1970s were intended to be a combat ration, not a snack.

We all know "that guy" who swears that the cheese tortellini is just like his mom used to make. Newsflash bro: eating three of those a day when you're working a desk is a cool 3,750 calories.

That PT belt is getting tighter for a reason: Math.

2. CrossFit

U.S. Air National Guard photo by Master Sgt. Phil Speck

We love a good burpee just as much as the next guy, and we know CrossFit is a little like Fight Club, except the first rule of CrossFit is that you have to talk about CrossFit. We are here for your WOD and your Rx and your clean and jerks and your doubleunders all day, but when you start to have muscle atrophy, maybe take a rest day. Or three.

Just don't pair your rest days with triple MRE days. Nah, we know those aren't Paleo.

3. Rip It

Photo courtesy of Rip It Energy Fuel

We've all been there. You pulled night duty again and all you need in your life is a nap, no matter if it's while you're sitting up. The fastest way to more night duty is to fall asleep on your current shift, so there's nothing like a Rip It to pick you up. No harm in that. Rip It is the perfect pick me up for those long nights.

But if you drink eight of those bad boys in one sitting, not only will you look like a squirrel on speed, you're going to feel it too. The Mayo Clinic advises not to exceed 400 milligrams of caffeine per day. Less is more.

4. Advertising your service

Fine for work. Not fine for bar.

U.S. Air Force photo by Airman First Class Eugene Oliver

You know them: The few, the proud, the decal on my car, rucksack wearing, billboard of a human that advertises their military affiliation, just begging for a "Thank you for your service."

There's nothing like seeing a new soldier wear his assault pack into an Applebees (true story, this happened). While we appreciate you keeping everyone's neighborhood bar and grill a little safer, the only real threat is that your BBQ Brisket Tacos have more calories than one MRE. While we're on the subject, dog tags should always be worn under your uniform.

You're not Goose. There will always only ever be one Goose. And Maverick looked ridiculous wearing jeans on the beach, and shirtless. Nobody plays sand volleyball in jeans. Not even in the 80s.

5. Selfies

U.S. Navy photo by Mass Communication Specialist 2nd Class Jason Amadi/Released

We're excited about your new tattoo, too. And that it's leg day, again. And that you go on runs with your camelback. And that you're outside. And that you have a dog. And that you went hiking. Look at that, you're inside, too. While the background might change, that smug, attempted smoldering look during your selfie is as predictable as your PT score.

You're not a Kardashian. A selfie a day keeps the dates away. Stick to one a month.

6. Jargon

U.S. Marine Corps photo by LCpl. Bryann K. Whitley

We don't want to give you an Alpha Charlie just for the way you talk, but BOHICA, it's CFB it's getting out of hand. Fine if you're talking about your TDY; we know you're excited to get out of the five-sided puzzle palace. But when you post on Facebook that it's "ENDEX" to announce your first born is finally here, that's when you need to call it. Don't be the FNG, just KISS.

Whether it's toning down your MRE intake, your selfie game or broadcasting to the world that you're active duty, moderation is key. We want you to drink a Rip It, get your WOD on and sure, even snap a selfie from time to time. Just don't overdo it… unless it's binge watching Netflix.

That's something we can all get behind. Bravo Zulu.

This article was sponsored by Rip It Energy Fuel. Click here to learn more.

Kimberly Bryant, second from the left (Courtesy photo)

Editor's Note: The following story highlights a veteran at Comcast committed to including talented members of the military community in its workplace. Comcast is a client of Hirepurpose, a Task & Purpose sister company. Learn More.

The night of September 11, 2001, Kimberly Bryant drove her boyfriend to the airport to deploy immediately to the Middle East. "That was the last time I saw the man I knew, the man I fell in love with," she recalls. On that deployment, her boyfriend was severely injured and returned home with a traumatic brain injury and post-traumatic stress disorder. When he was medically retired and deemed unemployable, with 100 percent disability from the Department of Veterans Affairs, various people told her that she had no obligation to him, but she couldn't walk away.

"I knew the person he was before this happened," she says. They got engaged, married, and raised a family together.

Read More Show Less
Soldiers deploy concertina wire in a location along the Southwest border of the United States near Hidalgo, Texas. U.S. Army North is deployed to the southwest border under the authority of U.S. Northern Command to support the Department of Homeland Security and the Customs and Border Protection's mission to secure the border. (U.S. Customs and Border Patrol)

The Defense Department's Inspector General's Office has launched an "evaluation" of the deployment of active-duty and National Guard troops to the southern border, a news release said Tuesday.

"We will examine, among other issues, what they are doing at the border, what training they received, and whether their use complied with applicable law, DoD policy, and operating guidance," said Glenn Fine, the principal deputy inspector general performing the duties of the inspector general, in the release.

Read More Show Less
(DoD photo)

Gold Star family members might finally see an end to the so-called "Widows Tax" thanks to the National Defense Authorization Act of 2020.

Read More Show Less
Saudi Arabia Defense Attache Major General Fawaz Al Fawaz and his Embassy staff and other officials arrive to meet with the Saudi students who remain restricted to the Naval Air Station (NAS) Pensacola base by their Saudi commanding officer, in Pensacola, Florida, U.S. December 9, 2019.( FBI Jacksonville/Handout via Reuters)

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Nearly 175 Saudi Arabian military aviation students have been grounded as part of a "safety stand-down" after a Saudi Air Force lieutenant shot and killed three people last week at a U.S. Navy base in Florida, U.S. officials told Reuters on Tuesday.

Read More Show Less
Photo: U.S. Army/Spc. Valencia McNeal

The number of substantiated allegations of sexual misconduct against senior Army officials increased this year, according to an Army Inspector General report recently presented to service leaders and obtained by Task & Purpose.

The document, which lays out broad details of IG investigations undertaken in fiscal year 2019, looks at investigations specific to senior Army officials, which includes "promotable colonels, general officers and senior executives," according to Army spokesman Lt. Col. Emanuel Ortiz.

Read More Show Less