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7 Important Suggestions For The Future Space Force Slogan
It’s not the first time a space-based U.S. military branch has been discussed — or debated, and lampooned — but as of Monday morning, it’s now official: the Space Force will be the sixth branch of the U.S. armed forces.
“When it comes to defending America, it is not enough merely to have an American presence in space; we must have American dominance in space,” President Donald Trump said Monday at a White House National Space Council meeting. “I am hereby directing the Department of Defense and Pentagon to immediately begin the process necessary to establish a Space Force as the sixth branch of the armed forces.”
“That’s a big statement,” Trump continued. “We are going to have the Air Force and we are going to have the Space Force — separate but equal. It is going to be something.”
It certainly is, but first things first: What the hell is the recruiting slogan going to be? Glad you asked, because we have some thoughts on that.
Here are seven totally serious recruiting taglines the newly minted Space Force might want to consider.
“To boldly police call where no one has police called before.”
Don’t get too excited about the prospect of a space-based military branch, especially if you’re junior enlisted. Even if the military started basing troops in space — which they probably won’t because, lol — every E-4 and below would spend the work-day bunny hopping about in zero-gs with a laser rake picking up space trash, that or re-painting moon rocks.
“Nuke it from orbit, it’s the only way to be sure."
Let’s be honest: You’re only excited about the prospect of a Space Force — which really should have been a Space Corps, but whatever — because it’ll breathe new life into those long-dead dreams of deploying with the Colonial Marines to LV-426 for a bug-hunt.
“Why do we exist?”
This is less a slogan and more of a serious question that actually requires an answer. As Task & Purpose’s Jeff Schogol reports, at this time the only official word from the Pentagon has come from Marine Gen. Joseph Dunford, chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, who upon hearing the announcement remarked “We got it sir,” which pretty much amounts to: “Lol, okay.”
“I'm doing my part.”
Say what you will about the necessity of a sixth branch — there’s a real recruiting opportunity here! Just think: if there was a Space Corps (I’m not letting this go), DoD could just turn to the plethora of pulpy sci-fi space operas already out there. Half of the ad campaigns are already made and ready to go:
“Because jumping out of a perfectly good airplane isn’t hardcore enough.”
Join the Space Force: we’re like the airborne, but better, because we’re in space. To be fair, the idea of a deploying troops across the globe via drop-pod is objectively badass, and it’s provided ample fodder for sci-fi games for years. Then again, those in the Space Force might end up being the only troops likely to earn a higher disability rating from the VA for knee and back pain than the airborne.
“Welcome to the Space Force: Here’s your reflective belt.”
Oh, what, you thought the bullshit rules and regulations that came with the Global War on Terror would only apply to those operating on the globe? Not so fast, Buck Rogers: you can’t blast off ‘till you have proper eye and ear pro, and goddammit, why is there a rip in the crotch of your space trousers?
“We’re worried what grunts will do if we ever achieve world peace.”
Honestly, this is a fair concern. Better take to the stars to find new and intelligent life, and kill it.
The 2020 National Defense Authorization Act would allow service members to seek compensation when military doctors make mistakes that harm them, but they would still be unable to file medical malpractice lawsuits against the federal government.
On Monday night, Congress announced that it had finalized the NDAA, which must be passed by the House and Senate before going to President Donald Trump. If the president signs the NDAA into law, it would mark the first time in nearly seven decades that U.S. military personnel have had legal recourse to seek payment from the military in cases of medical malpractice.
A major serving at U.S. Army Cyber Command has been charged with distributing child pornography, according to the Justice Department.
Maj. Jason Michael Musgrove, who is based at Fort Gordon, Georgia, has been remanded to the U.S. Marshals service, a news release from the U.S. Attorney's Office for the Southern District of Georgia says.
Pardoned soldiers Clint Lorance and Mathew Golsteyn were special guests at a recent Trump fundraiser
President Donald Trump, speaking during a closed-door speech to Republican Party of Florida donors at the state party's annual Statesman's Dinner, was in "rare form" Saturday night.
The dinner, which raised $3.5 million for the state party, was met with unusual secrecy. The 1,000 attendees were required to check their cell phones into individual locked cases before they entered the unmarked ballroom at the south end of the resort. Reporters were not allowed to attend.
But the secrecy was key to Trump's performance, which attendees called "hilarious."
Riding the high of the successful event turnout — and without the pressure of press or cell phones — Trump transformed into a "total comedian," according to six people who attended the event and spoke afterward to the Miami Herald.
He also pulled an unusual move, bringing on stage Army 1st Lt. Clint Lorance and Maj. Mathew Golsteyn, who Trump pardoned last month for cases involving war crimes. Lorance was serving a 19-year sentence for ordering his soldiers shoot at unarmed men in Afghanistan, and Golsteyn was to stand trial for the 2010 extrajudicial killing of a suspected bomb maker.
Retired Col. Charles McGee stepped out of the small commercial jet and flashed a smile.
Then a thumbs-up.
McGee had returned on a round-trip flight Friday morning from Dover Air Force Base, where he served as co-pilot on one of two flights done especially for his birthday.
By the way he disembarked from the plane, it was hard to tell that McGee, a Tuskegee Airman, was turning 100.
The new acting secretary of the Navy said recently that he is open to designing a fleet that is larger than the current 355-ship plan, one that relies significantly on unmanned systems rather than solely on traditional gray hulls.