An Airman Was Jailed For Giving A Cop A Wet Willy

news
Capt. Sarah Freidel, 34th Bomb Squadron flight surgeon, performs a valsalva maneuver on Staff Sgt. Jacob Appleby, 28th Medical Operations Squadron ambulance services technician, during a physical exam in the flight medicine clinic on Ellsworth Air Force Base, S.D., May 2, 2012.
U.S. Air Force photo by Airman 1st Class Kate Maurer

A drunk airman home on leave in Minnesota gave a local police officer a “double wet willy,” licking a finger on each hand and sticking them in the officer’s ears, and now he has to pay the price for his crimes.


Minnesota’s Mankato Free Press has the story of how 24-year-old Riley Swearingen was jailed on a felony charge of assaulting a police officer with bodily fluids, which is a gross and oddly specific law.

Swearingen was on his way home from enjoying the bustling Mankato, Minnesota, nightlife when he boarded a drunk bus, and gave a double wet willy to the police officer, who was talking to the driver.

It’s unclear how Swearingen, an air traffic controller assigned to Seymour Johnson Air Force Base in Goldsboro, North Carolina, thought this would end, but he ended up spending the weekend in jail, missing the wedding he came home to attend.

"I thought it would be incredibly funny to give a police officer a wet willy, to which I was sorely mistaken," Swearingen told District Court Judge Kurt Johnson who he appeared before the next Monday morning. "I'm incredibly sorry for what I did. I never thought I would be going to jail for the weekend."

Johnson offered Swearingen the chance to plead down to the misdemeanor charge of disruptive intoxication. He quickly accepted the deal and and was sentenced to time served (three days) and ordered to pay $77 in court costs.

LIKE TASK & PURPOSE? WE’RE HIRING. JOIN OUR TEAM »

A military funeral at Fort Jackson National Cemetery in 2014. Photo: Sgt. 1st Class Joel Quebec/U.S. Army

A U.S. soldier died on Friday while in Syria supporting Operation Inherent Resolve, the Defense Department announced on Saturday.

Read More
DoD photo

A word that could once not be mentioned in court — torture — was front and center on Friday as a military tribunal prepares to take on the long-delayed trial of Khalid Shaikh Mohammed, the confessed chief plotter of the 9/11 attacks, and four other defendants.

"I know torture's a dirty word," defense attorney Walter Ruiz told the tribunal. "I'll tell you what, judge, I'm not going to sanitize this for their concerns."

Read More

The suspect in the death of 21-year-old U.S. Marine Cpl. Tyler Wallingford, who was fatally shot in the barracks of the U.S. Marine Corps Air Station Beaufort more than nine months ago, was found guilty in military court of involuntary manslaughter earlier this month and sentenced to more than five years.

Read More
U.S. Navy/Mass Communication Specialist 2nd Class Dylan McKay

A U.S. Navy aircrew has been rescued after their MH-60S helicopter went down into the Philippine Sea on Saturday.

Read More
Photo: Fort Jackson Public Affairs

A 19-year-old Army private who died during basic training earlier this month was posthumously promoted to private first class, just before friends and family gathered for a memorial service to honor his life on Jan. 16.

Read More