Al Qaeda Has A Women’s Magazine Filled With Roses, Cartoons, And Great Advice Like 'Don’t Nag Your Husband'

Code Red News

Al Qaeda has a new-ish online magazine for its women jihadis featuring roses, cartoons, stolen stock photos, and great advice like don't nag your husband since he sees a lot of blood every day.


Beituki (Arabic for "Your Home") is what The Economist referred to as Al Qaeda's "chick lit," but this isn't some #MeToo-esque tome. Instead, readers of Your Home are instructed to smile more, clean the damn house, and make that really good spicy chicken and hummus meal that Abdul really loves.

The magazine launched in December to what was probably considerable fanfare among the Real Housewives of Al Qaeda. Although it's written in Arabic, The Economist translated some of the more memorable advice lines, including:

  • Greet your husband with a smile when he comes and a smile when he goes.
  • Don’t dabble in his work.
  • Make your house a paradise on earth.
  • Prepare the food your husband loves, prepare his bed after that and do what he wants.
  • Can you imagine all the bloodshed and bones he sees every day? Your fussing only increases the pressure.

It even has a section with supposed love letters written to an unnamed jihadi husband, and a Dear Abby-esque advice column.

“Weren’t you thrilled when your husband told you he was going to join the jihad for God,” one issue asks, “even though you knew that perhaps he might never return?”

I don't know about you, but I'd be thrilled if your husband doesn't return after accidentally detonating the suicide vest in the fitting room.

If you're curious, you can check out an issue at Aaron Zelin's Jihadology site.

Casperassets.rbl.ms

Benjamin Franklin nailed it when he said, "Fatigue is the best pillow." True story, Benny. There's nothing like pushing your body so far past exhaustion that you'd willingly, even longingly, take a nap on a concrete slab.

Take $75 off a Casper Mattress and $150 off a Wave Mattress with code TASKANDPURPOSE

And no one knows that better than military service members and we have the pictures to prove it.

Read More Show Less
(Associated Press/Lenny Ignelzi)

A 24-year-old Dana Point, California man accused of stabbing three Marines outside a bar in San Clemente in August has been sentenced to four years in prison.

Read More Show Less
U.S. Coast Guard Petty Officer 2nd Class Karl Munson pilots a 26-foot boat while Petty Officer 2nd Class Gabriel Diaz keeps an eye on a boarding team who is inspecting a 79-foot shrimp boat in the Gulf of Mexico, off the coast of New Orleans, La., on April 27, 2005

Radio transmissions to the U.S. Coast Guard are usually calls for help from boaters, but one captain got on the radio recently just to say thanks to the men and women who are currently working without pay.

Read More Show Less
REUTERS/Carlos Barria

DOVER AIR FORCE BASE, Del (Reuters) - U.S. President Donald Trump traveled to Dover Air Force Base in Delaware on Saturday to receive the remains of four Americans killed in a suicide bombing in northern Syria.

Trump, locked in a battle with congressional Democrats that has led to a nearly month-long partial government shutdown, announced his trip via a pre-dawn tweet, saying he was going "to be with the families of 4 very special people who lost their lives in service to our Country!"

Read More Show Less

A low-flying C-17 gave Nashville residents a fright on Friday when the aircraft made several unannounced passes over the city's bustling downtown.

Read More Show Less