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This is the only thing you'll need to post this 4th of July so everyone knows just how 'Merica you are
It's that time of the year, you know: hot dog heavy cookouts; a metric shit-ton of light beer stacked neatly in the shape of the American flag at your nearby supermarket; fireworks and trigger warnings about fireworks and rants about trigger warnings about fireworks; American flag-printed clothing in every size and shape, from two-sizes too small booty shorts, and full on adult onesies; and of course the endless stampede of social media posts depicting the Stars and Stripes, bald eagles, presidents, U.S. troops, and random celebrities wearing some version of a spangly outfit.
We're talking about Independence Day.
That day that celebrates that one time a band of scrappy colonists decided "hey, fuck taxation, not in general, but definitely without representation. Let's start a war with the leading world power of the day, and for shits and giggles, let's declare our independence. And to really throw old King George III off his game... let's win."
While the 4th of July doesn't commemorate the end of the American Revolution, it celebrates that day in 1776 when 56 delegates from the colonies — which included a handful of future presidents, cabinet members, and generally, the cast and crew we tend to think of when we say "founding fathers" — declared that the 13 colonies would henceforth be free from British rule.
In light of this sacred day of flag-waving rah rah 'Mericana, we've compiled this handy list of patriotic razzle dazzle posts so you don't have to scour the underbelly of the internet for that image of George Washington crossing the Delaware with a boat full of glow-belt clad militiamen, or the obligatory "freedom intensifies" Bald Eagle meme.
We've got you, and yes, you're very welcome for our service.
Happy 4th of July from all of us at Task & Purpose!
Yeah, we're all there with you.
Excuse me, do you have a moment to talk about... Freedom?
So that's how they made it through the fog...
You might want to get that checked out... on July 5th.
Same guy, but on the 4th...
Done, just done.
Shots fired (from the moon)!
Chuck Norris does not celebrate the 4th of July. The 4th of July celebrates Chuck Norris.
When someone tries to tell you that being drunk before noon isn't appropriate on Independence Day.
The U.S. government failed to effectively account for nearly $715.8 million in weapons and equipment allocated to Syrian partners as part of the multinational counter-ISIS fight, according to a new report from the Defense Department inspector general.
Rep. Tulsi Gabbard (D-Hawaii), has long been seen as an apologist for Syrian dictator Bashar al-Assad, whom she met during a secret trip to Damascus in January 2017.
Most recently, a video was posted on Twitter shows Gabbard evading a question about whether Assad is a war criminal.
Since Gabbard is the only actively serving member of the military who is running for president — she is a major in the Hawaii Army National Guard — Task & Purpose sought to clarify whether she believes Assad has used chlorine gas and chemical weapons to kill his own people.
The Army is almost doubling its purchase of new bolt-action Precision Sniper Rifles as its primary anti-personnel sniper system of choice, according to budget documents.
Air Force gunsmiths recently completed delivery of a new M4-style carbine designed to break down small enough to fit under most pilot ejection seats.
NEWPORT -- The Office of Naval Inspector General has cleared former Naval War College president Rear Adm. Jeffrey A. Harley of most of the allegations of misconduct claimed to have occurred after he took command of the 136-year-old school in July 2016, The Providence Journal has learned.
Harley, in one of a series of interviews with the The Journal, called the findings "deeply gratifying." He said many of the most sensational allegations -- "offers of 'free hugs' and games of Twister in his office" -- reflected a misunderstanding of his sense of humor, which he describes as "quirky," but which he says was intended to ease tensions in what can be a stressful environment.
The allegations, reported last year by the Associated Press, prompted a national controversy that led to Harley leaving the college presidency after almost three years in office.