The Army needs fresh body parts ASAP, people

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Soldiers with Army Trauma Training Center's Combat Extremity Surgery Course (CESC) prepare a cadaver limb for placement of an external fixator during the hands-on training portion of the two-day course hosted by William Beaumont Army Medical Center at Texas Tech University Health Sciences Center in El Paso, Texas. (U.S. Army/Marcy Sanchez)

The Army is looking for some fresh body parts — $32.5 million worth, to be precise.

An Army Medical Command solicitation published on Thursday details a need "fresh frozen cadaver limbs" for combat surgery training at the Army Medical Department Center & School (AMEDDC&S) at Joint Base San Antonio-Fort Sam Houston and Texas Tech University Health Sciences Center in El Paso (TTUHSC-EP).


The multi-million dollar solicitation details a need for several distinct items, including 16 "fresh frozen cadaver," 16 "pelvis to toe tip w/ sacrum" (legs, from the toes to the shield-shaped bone that connects the spine to the pelvis), and 16 "shoulder w/Arm w/Clavicle" (arms, fingertip to clavicle).

So wings and drumsticks, basically.

The Army has used cadavers since the 1850s to test the impact of firearms (like, famously, the .30 caliber M1903 Springfield eventually adopted in 1903) on the human body.

These particular body parts, however, are for the AMEDDC&S Department of Anatomy & Physiology for "annual analytical laboratory service," namely the Combat Extremity Surgery Course (CESC) designed to train Army combat medics to treat various types of extremity trauma in austere conditions.

But it's worth noting that the Army wants solicitations by Sept. 24, less than a week after publishing its solicitation. So get those offers in ASAP, people — but just make sure that it's OK first.

While America's forever wars continue to rage abroad, the streaming wars are starting to heat up at home.

On Monday, the Walt Disney Company announced that its brand new online streaming service, aptly titled Disney+, will launch an all-out assault on eyeballs around the world with an arsenal of your favorite content starting on November 12th. Marvel Cinematic Universe content! Star Wars content! Pixar content! Classic Disney animation content!

While the initial Disney+ content lineup looks like the most overpowered alliance since NATO, there's one addition of particular interest hidden in Disney's massive Twitter announcement, an elite strike force with a unique mission that stands ready to eliminate streaming enemies like Netflix and Hulu no matter where they may hide.

That's right, I'm talking about Operation Dumbo Drop — and no, I am not fucking around.

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Editor's Note: This article originally appeared on Business Insider.

On Monday, The New York Times reported that U.S. officials were considering plans to move the U.S. nuclear arsenal from Inçirlik Air Base in Turkey.

This move would be likely to further deteriorate the tense relationship between the U.S. and Turkey, which has rapidly devolved as Turkey invaded northeastern Syria in assault on the Kurdish forces that fought ISIS alongside the U.S.

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Soldiers are smoking a whole lot more weed if they happen to be stationed in or near a state where it's legal, and the Army has definitely noticed.

At nine Army bases in or near marijuana-friendly states, there has been a roughly 18% increase between 2017 and 2018 in positive drug tests for THC, or tetrahydrocannabinol, the principal psychoactive component in cannabis. For comparison, there has been a 5% increase in soldiers testing positive for THC across the entire Army.

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Defense Secretary Mark Esper has confirmed that a nightmare scenario has come to pass: Captured ISIS fighters are escaping as a result of Turkey's invasion of Kurdish-held northeast Syria.

Turkey's incursion has led to "the release of many dangerous ISIS detainees," Esper said in a statement on Monday.

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From left to right: Sgt. Maj. (Ret.) Kenneth Ramos; 1st Lt. Kelsey Cochran; Brig. Gen. Patrick Donahoe; and Col. (Ret.) Steve Leonard (Twitter/Jeku Arce)

For an organization that is constantly shining a light on things that would rather be kept out of the public eye, the moderators of U.S. Army WTF! Moments have done a remarkably impressive job at staying anonymous.

That is, until Monday.

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