The Best Response To The Army's New 'Third Arm' We've Read Yet

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Here at Task & Purpose, we consider our regular commenters some of the most incisive, thoughtful, and authentic folks on the Internet, which is really saying something considering that all social media is basically political fights and outrage all day long. But more importantly, T&P; readers often make us laugh until our sides hurt and our muscles are flooded with fatigue toxins.


Case in point: this perfect comment on our recent story about the Army's efforts to field a 'third arm' mechanical appendage, currently in testing at the Aberdeen Proving Ground:

And there you have it, ladies and gentleman: a classic dick joke. Well done, Matt Wayne. Thank you for your service!

President Donald Trump could issue a pardon on Memorial Day for Navy SEAL Chief Eddie Gallagher, former Special Forces Maj. Matthew Golsteyn, and Marine Scout Snipers accused of urinating on Taliban corpses, the New York Times is reporting.

The White House is working with the Justice Department and military services to get the paperwork necessary for the pardons in order, according to the Times.

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If the Pentagon had to take Consumer Math class in high school, they'd flunk.

The U.S. military—correction, the U.S. taxpayer—is spending more money to buy fewer weapons. The reason? Poor acquisition practices, according to a report by the Government Accountability Office (GAO).

"DOD's 2018 portfolio of major weapon programs has grown in cost by $8 billion, but contains four fewer systems than last year," GAO found.

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Editor's Note: This article originally appeared on RFE/RL: Afghanistan.

KABUL -- An air strike has mistakenly killed at least nine Afghan police officers, including a commander, during a battle with the Taliban in the southern province of Helmand, local officials say.

They said that 14 officers were also wounded in the May 16 strike in the Nahr-e Saraj district , which is located outside the provincial capital, Lashkar Gah.

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(U.S. Army photo)

Chuck Norris contains multitudes.

He's an Oklahoman and an Air Force vet, an actor and martial artist. The intensity of his badassery formed the basis of one of the earliest and most ubiquitous internet memes. He's a fictional member of Delta Force and a Texas Ranger, his beard a source of such virile endurance and strength that it makes Samson's biblical mane look like a bouquet of hobo pubes.

Now, Norris will live forever as the ultimate instrument of righteousness: an M1 Abrams tank.

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Under Secretary Ryan McCarthy and New Hampshire Gov. Chris Sununu (center). Photo: Task & Purpose.

CONCORD, N.H. — The U.S. Army signed onto a partnership with the state of New Hampshire on Wednesday in the hopes of sharpening its recruiting edge.

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