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Despite its role as a perennial punching bag among the U.S. armed forces, the Coast Guard carries out dangerous and invaluable missions every day, from drug interdiction and search-and-rescue to… unicorn hunting?

  • In an extremely matter-of-fact July 21 press release, the Coast Guard requested the public's assistance in identifying and locating the owner of a “white unicorn float” found off the coast of Hawaii's Maui island by civilian sailors around 1:30 pm that day.
  • The Coast Guard is worried that the float's owner may actually be lost in the waves off of Olowalu Beach, where it was initially located, even though there were “no reports of missing persons in the area” at the time.
  • The Coast Guard dispatched an MH-65 Dolphin helicopter crew from Air Station Barbers Point and a 45-foot Response Boat-Medium crew from Coast Guard Station Maui to search the area.
  • “Coast Guard Sector Honolulu watchstanders issued an Urgent Marine Information Broadcast notice to mariners to keep a sharp lookout of signs of distress,” the release states.

Based on the information provided by the Coast Guard, a lost swimmer seems deeply unlikely, but we have to commend their thoroughness. If you're in Hawaii and recognize this floating unicorn, contact the Sector Honolulu Command Center at 808-842-2600.

Jared Keller
Jared Keller

Jared Keller is the former managing editor of Task & Purpose. His writing has appeared in Aeon, the Los Angeles Review of Books, the New Republic, Pacific Standard, Smithsonian, and The Washington Post, among other publications. Contact the author here.