Why 'Call Of Duty' Crushes 'Battlefield 4' Every Time

Humor

If you’re an adult and make solid choices, then your game of choice is coming from the Call Of Duty franchise. Ever since the original Call of Duty blew my mind all the way back to World War 2 nearly 15 years ago, the series only gets better with each passing installment.


You get the weird conspiracy stuff with Black Ops! The heroics of World War 2 with World at War! And even new addition Infinite War, which is set in space, kind of reminds me of a certain other forever war we seem to be stuck in.

But if you’re a dum-dum, then you’ve played Battlefield 4, which is ten times worse than the pinnacle of the Call of Duty family, Modern Warfare 2. Don't believe me? Let me count the ways:

A cozy player count

Unlike stupid Battlefield 4, 16 people in a match is just fine and cozy for some multiplayer Call of Duty action. You don’t have to play on a giant map waiting for people to show up since it was designed for half of a platoon to plod around on.

Snipers are limited

You know how awful it feels when you're romping about with your boys and you get shot in the head from across the map? It feels awful. And that person who shot you? They're probably 10 years old. It’s a bigger hit to my ego than when I realized I would never buy a house because I ruined my credit score when I bought that Camaro at 20% APR right out of boot camp.

Also, no one likes snipers in real life because they all act like whiny bitches. You know, like the guy who wrote Jarhead.

A decent map size

Nothing is worse than these huge maps where you’re forced to run around all day. You know how much stress is already on that little digital dude to perform? Iraq was huge and not fun, and bigger equals worse.

That’s why Call of Duty maps are great: they are tiny and adorable! You can turn a corner and boom, stab a guy. And it makes the use of a grenade launcher glorious. When I use that noob tube, it’s like suddenly I'm Thor, smiting non-believers with my mighty lightning bolts.

Air power for days

In Call of Duty, I can just call in airstrikes the good old-fashioned way. Who wants people actually zooming around when the computer can fly better than they can, and give me literally all the kills?

Now, I’m saying Battlefield 4 sucks. If you disagree with me, then you’re a dum dum. I’ve also never played Battlefield 4 because it’s garbage. I don’t need to taste garbage to know it’s bad for me.

What started as a wildly popular Facebook hoax titled Storm Area 51, They Can't Stop All of Us back in June has since morphed into a real live event. That's right, the long awaited day is upon us.

As of Friday morning, people have begun to make their way to the secret U.S. military installation in the Nevada desert in search of answers to the questions that plague us all: Are we alone in the universe? Is our government secretly hiding a bunch of aliens? Just how fast can I "Naruto run" past the base gate? And how far can we take a joke with the U.S. military?

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The Marine Corps is loading up one of its experimental unmanned ground vehicle with a buttload of firepower.

The Marine Corps Warfighting Lab is working on a prototype of its tracked Expeditionary Modular Autonomous Vehicle (EMAV) with a remote-controlled .50 caliber machine gun turret and a specialized launcher for kamikaze drones to accompany Marines in urban environments, Military.com reports.

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Jason P. Zaki, 32, died on Wednesday while deployed to the 609th Air Operations Center from the Pentagon, an AFCENT news release says.

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President Donald Trump, first lady Melania Trump, right, Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe and his wife Akie Abe, left, walk at Trump's private Mar-a-Lago club, Tuesday, April 17, 2018, in Palm Beach, Fla. (Associated Press//Pablo Martinez Monsivais)

At a time when taxpayer and foreign-government spending at Trump Organization properties is fueling political battles, a U.S. Marine Corps reserve unit stationed in South Florida hopes to hold an annual ball at a venue that could profit the commander in chief.

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Editor's Note: This article by Matthew Cox originally appeared on Military.com, a leading source of news for the military and veteran community.

QUANTICO, Virginia -- They may not be deadly, but some of the nonlethal weapons the Marine Corps is working on look pretty devastating.

The Marine Corps Joint Nonlethal Weapons Directorate is currently testing an 81mm mortar round that delivers a shower of flashbang grenades to disperse troublemakers. There is also an electric vehicle-stopper that delivers an electrical pulse to shut down a vehicle's powertrain, designed for use at access control points.

"When you hear nonlethal, you are thinking rubber bullets and batons and tear gas; it's way more than that," Marine Col. Wendell Leimbach Jr., director of the Joint Nonlethal Weapons Directorate, told an audience at the Modern Day Marine 2019 expo.

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