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Camping Hacks For The Guy Who Just Wants To Drink In The Woods All Day
When it comes to advice on camping, hiking, and the outdoors, the internet seems to be fairly divided into two distinct camps: There’s the hardcore survivalists who want to spend a weekend trip fending off bears with a spear they made in the woods. Then there’s the equally die-hard glampers. By glamping — which is a stupid millennial word that means glamorous or luxury camping — I’m not referring to folks who drive to a campsite, blow up an air mattress, and sleep in a tent. I mean the ones who pack solar chargers for their iPads and espresso machines, and have a tent for their dog.
However, not everyone falls into those two groups. Take the average guy or gal who just wants to get away from the daily grind, spend some time outside, and drink entirely too much while eating meat with every meal. You know, your typical red-blooded Americans.
Here are some simple tips geared toward those who think the hallmark of a good camping trip is a full belly, smelling like a campfire, and returning home with a hangover that takes two days to go away.
There are other options if you don’t have a camp stove.
If you forgot to pack your stove, or are too cheap to buy one, just cook your food over the fire. Duh. However, if you don’t want to, or can’t because you’re at one of those fascist campsites in California where everyone loses their mind about stray embers year round, there’s hope.
You can make a “penny stove” out of two soda cans, some fuel, and a penny, hence the name. First, you cut the the bottom third off each can, discarding the rest. Using a thumbtack, poke five holes around the center in the shape of a “+” symbol on one of the cans. Then punch several holes along the rim so it resembles a propane burner. Take the bottom half of the other can and crimp the edges with pliers, then press the two firmly together until they form a seal. Fill the can with fuel, slowly. Once it’s full, place a penny over the five holes in center, and add more fuel to the top, until the penny is covered, light it and let it burn down. As the can heats up and fuel burns off the top, fire will burn through the smaller holes on the side. Now you have a small, but functioning stove that literally costs a penny.
Alternatively, you can take any leftover or unused metal tent stakes, clear a patch of dirt, then place the stakes in the ground with the L-shape facing inward. They should be close enough together that you can place a can of soup, small cooking pan, or tin foil bowl on top. Start a small fire with twigs and brush underneath, and now you’ve got a working grill, of sorts.
Keep packing simple.
Most people who camp throughout the year have a dedicated box for their supplies. However, it doesn’t take long before it’s a disorganized mess of random zip ties, broken plastic plates, and so full of crap you can’t close the lid. Add to it that you need to pack a cooler with food, and fit everything in your car or truck; space becomes an issue very quickly.
One way to make some extra room in your cooler is to store eggs in a water bottle. This also keeps them from breaking or the carton from becoming soggy as the ice melts. Before you leave for your trip, take the eggs out of the carton, whisk them until they’re yellow, then pour that liquid gold into an empty plastic bottle.
To keep your camping box somewhat organized, put your matches into a small Tupperware container and glue sandpaper to the top to strike the matches on. This keeps them from shaking loose and spares you the trouble of rooting through a box in the dark for a damn match. For cutlery, cut PVC piping to store knives, so they don’t puncture the rest of your supplies.
The liberal application of tinfoil is key.
With a bit of foil, and some prep work at home, you can eat red meat with every meal.
For starters, make meatloaf wrapped in onion. Take a pound of ground beef, season it, then divide it up evenly into six to eight balls. Then wrap each one in a layer of onion, wrap them individually in tin foil, then place them over a grill, in the fire, or on top of the coals.
Use this same method to make quesadillas, philly cheese steak sandwiches, sausage and hashbrowns, and pretty much anything else that’s mostly meat, cheese, and bread.
If you see camping as an excuse to day drink, you’re doing it right.
Unfortunately, some campsites can be pretty uptight about open containers. Though a stern talking to from some park ranger is a small price to pay for a nice outdoor buzz, if you want to avoid the hassle, here’s a tip.
Make some minor modifications to an empty soda can and use it like an incognito beer koozie. All you need is an empty can, a pair of scissors and a can opener. Just remove the top and bottom of the soda can with the opener, and cut along the side with scissors.
No, I’m not drinking, I just really like Coca-Cola. It’s my 12th one today. Yes, I know it’s only noon.
The Marine lieutenant colonel who was removed from command of 1st Reconnaissance Battalion in May is accused of lying to investigators looking into allegations of misconduct, according to a copy of his charge sheet provided to Task & Purpose on Monday.
President Donald Trump just can't stop telling stories about former Defense Secretary James Mattis. This time, the president claims Mattis said U.S. troops were so perilously low on ammunition that it would be better to hold off launching a military operation.
"You know, when I came here, three years ago almost, Gen. Mattis told me, 'Sir, we're very low on ammunition,'" Trump recalled on Monday at the White House. "I said, 'That's a horrible thing to say.' I'm not blaming him. I'm not blaming anybody. But that's what he told me because we were in a position with a certain country, I won't say which one; we may have had conflict. And he said to me: 'Sir, if you could, delay it because we're very low on ammunition.'
"And I said: You know what, general, I never want to hear that again from another general," Trump continued. "No president should ever, ever hear that statement: 'We're low on ammunition.'"
This 400-pound feral hog is one of more than 1,200 that have invaded a Texas Air Force base since 2016
At least one Air Force base is waging a slow battle against feral hogs — and way, way more than 30-50 of them.
A Texas trapper announced on Monday that his company had removed roughly 1,200 feral hogs from Joint Base San Antonio property at the behest of the service since 2016.
In a move that could see President Donald Trump set foot on North Korean soil again, Kim Jong Un has invited the U.S. leader to Pyongyang, a South Korean newspaper reported Monday, as the North's Foreign Ministry said it expected stalled nuclear talks to resume "in a few weeks."
A letter from Kim, the second Trump received from the North Korean leader last month, was passed to the U.S. president during the third week of August and came ahead of the North's launch of short-range projectiles on Sept. 10, the South's Joongang Ilbo newspaper reported, citing multiple people familiar with the matter.
In the letter, Kim expressed his willingness to meet the U.S. leader for another summit — a stance that echoed Trump's own remarks just days earlier.
Constant deployments broke the Air Force's B-1 fleet. Now the service is facing a major bomber shortfall
On April 14, 2018, two B-1B Lancer bombers fired off payloads of Joint Air-to-Surface Standoff Missiles against weapons storage plants in western Syria, part of a shock-and-awe response to Syrian President Bashar al-Assad's use of chemical weapons against his citizens that also included strikes from Navy destroyers and submarines.
In all, the two bombers fired 19 JASSMs, successfully eliminating their targets. But the moment would ultimately be one of the last — and certainly most publicized — strategic strikes for the aircraft before operations began to wind down for the entire fleet.
A few months after the Syria strike, Air Force Global Strike Command commander Gen. Tim Ray called the bombers back home. Ray had crunched the data, and determined the non-nuclear B-1 was pushing its capabilities limit. Between 2006 and 2016, the B-1 was the sole bomber tasked continuously in the Middle East. The assignment was spread over three Lancer squadrons that spent one year at home, then six month deployed — back and forth for a decade.
The constant deployments broke the B-1 fleet. It's no longer a question of if, but when the Air Force and Congress will send the aircraft to the Boneyard. But Air Force officials are still arguing the B-1 has value to offer, especially since it's all the service really has until newer bombers hit the flight line in the mid-2020s.