The Task & Purpose Civilian-To-Veteran Lingo Translator

Humor
U.S. Air Force/Staff Sgt. Sean Martin

After months surrounded by fellow service members, returning to the civilian world can be tough. Who are these strange, informal creatures? What's the deal with their strange habits? And when they ask me questions about my military service, what are they really asking me? 


To that end, we've put together the Task & Purpose Civilian-To-Veteran Lingo Translator, a brief cheat sheet to help you make sense of all the awkward questions that well-meaning civilians may lob at your during your time at home. 

What did you do in the military?

Translation: Did you ever kill anyone?

Did you ever kill anyone?

Translation: Please say yes.

Did you ever, like, go anywhere?

Translation: Did you deploy to Iraq or Afghanistan?

Did you see combat?

Translation: I still want to know if you killed someone.

What was it like coming home?

Translation: Please tell me you don’t have PTSD.

It must've been pretty crazy over there.

Translation: You definitely have PTSD

What are you doing now?

Translation: I don’t care and will forget immediately

Thank you for your service

Translation: Thank you for your service! Wait, did I sound too earnest? Or did I sound sarcastic? Oh God, please don’t blast me on your podcast.

My cousin is a Special Forces green beret

Translation: My cousin went to the Army recruiting station once and I have no idea whether he actually ended up enlisting.

I thought about enlisting.

Translation: Then I got high.

I work for a startup/media company/non-profit/any civilian job

Translation: I read Facebook and take BuzzFeed quizzes while I try to avoid doing as much work as possible.

Is ‘Top Gun’ accurate?

Translation: I think this movie is about the Air Force.

I loved the opening sequence of ‘Saving Private Ryan.’

Translation: This conversation is going nowhere.

This article was sponsored by Rip It Energy Fuel. Click here to learn more.

MISHAWAKA — On a visit to the AM General Military Assembly plant in Mishawaka Thursday, Secretary of the Army Mark Esper highlighted his plan to modernize the Army and emphasized the important role he said AM General and its HMMWV (Humvee) will play in that modernization.

"The Humvee is a very capable light truck. It's very versatile, it allows us to perform a range of missions," Esper said. "Like we like to say, it's one of many tools in the tool kit."

Read More Show Less
Guided missile cruiser USS Lake Champlain (CG 57) steams in the Southern California operating area. Lake Champlain is operating with the USS John C. Stennis (CVN 74) Carrier Strike Group, conducting Composite Training Unit Exercise (COMPTUEX) in preparation for an upcoming deployment. (U.S. Navy/Photographer's Mate 2nd Class Jayme Pastoric)

The U.S. Navy is proposing soon to decommission six of its 22 Ticonderoga-class cruisers. The 1980s-vintage ships, the largest surface combatants in the U.S. fleet, increasingly are suffering structural problems requiring costly and time-consuming overhauls.

Read More Show Less
Julio Morris and two other men have now been charged with the brazen killing of Ezell Finklea, the Army Special Forces veteran who had repeatedly cooperated with Miami-Dade prosecutors despite threats to his life. (Miami-Dade Corrections/Facebook)

In January, Julio Morris was days away from his murder trial when a key eyewitness was gunned down in an ambush attack in North Miami-Dade. The trial was postponed.

This week, as Morris' trial finally got under way, prosecutors unsealed a new case against him: that he ordered the hit on the eyewitness from behind bars.

Read More Show Less
Rep. Duncan Hunter (Associated Press photo)

Republican Larry Wilske, a retired Navy SEAL, officially announced his candidacy in California's 50th Congressional District, vying for a seat currently held by embattled Rep. Duncan D. Hunter.

Read More Show Less
The Angra Nuclear Power Plant in Brazil

RIO DE JANEIRO (Reuters) - Armed men shot at members of a convoy transporting uranium to one of Brazil's two working nuclear power plants on a coastal road in Rio de Janeiro state on Tuesday, police and the company managing the plant said.

Read More Show Less