---
title: "Consider this a reminder that Cap’n Crunch is definitely stolen valor"
date: "2020-01-06"
modified: "2020-01-06"
authors:
  - name: "Jared Keller"
    job_title: "Former Managing Editor"
    link: "https://taskandpurpose.com/authors/jaredkeller/"
url: "https://taskandpurpose.com/culture/capn-crunch-stolen-valor/"
categories:
  - "Culture"
  - "Mandatory Fun"
---

# Consider this a reminder that Cap’n Crunch is definitely stolen valor

![](<https://taskandpurpose.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/22485630-1.jpg>)

Over the weekend, the airmen at MacDill Air Force Base made the mistake of inviting a known fraud into their midst.

On Saturday, the official Twitter account of the Defense Commissary Agency (DeCA) welcomed Cap'n Crunch to the premises of the MacDill AFB commissary with a cheeky message.

https://twitter.com/YourCommissary/status/1213565822708469765

This tweet is a perfect opportunity to remind DeCA that Cap'n Crunch isn't a captain at all but a [fat fucking fraud](<https://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2013/06/20/193875243/hes-an-impostor-the-navy-says-about-capn-crunch>).

In 2013, amid a series of questions regarding Crunch's uniform, the Navy confirmed that the fictional cereal mascot was probably just a commander due to the three stripes that appear on his sleeves in most representations.

Indeed, a deeper search of [historical images](<https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=https://3.bp.blogspot.com/_Y8m29ZLX5ag/SRvKPKzBDPI/AAAAAAAABww/VMtqNNLW0OI/s400/CAP%2527N%252BCRUNCH%252BB%252526W.jpg&imgrefurl=https://powsley.blogspot.com/2008_11_01_archive.html&h=400&w=344&sz=28&tbnid=LDc8GtbZ6s0tOM:&tbnh=85&tbnw=73&zoom=1&usg=__9LlZy8PCcyG5t9RMATLCtxm8lJ8=&docid=h-jSfAbBHptMzM&sa=X&ei=pR7DUfq_HLWj4AOlpYHoAw&ved=0CFgQ9QEwBw&dur=45#imgdii=LDc8GtbZ6s0tOM%253A%253BRsbLXXlF0y8m8M%253BLDc8GtbZ6s0tOM%253A>) conducted by NPR revealed and Cap'n Crunch often sported and inconsistent number of stripes on his uniform; in the MacDill AFB set-up, he's rocking the twin stripes of a lieutenant.

More importantly, a Navy spokesman [told](<https://www.foreignpolicy.com/articles/2013/06/19/navy_responds_to_crunch_scandal>) Foreign Policy that "personnel records do not show a "Cap'n Crunch" who currently serves or has served in the Navy.'"

Say it with me now: Cap'n Crunch is stolen valor and should not be allowed onto any base or into any commissary, ever, for all time — if only for the health of your teeth.

This has been a Task & Purpose public service announcement. Please show this article to your local security forces; we know they'll appreciate it.

![](<https://taskandpurpose.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/image-placeholder-title-359.gif>)

## Author
Jared Keller is the former managing editor of Task & Purpose. His writing has appeared in Aeon, the Los Angeles Review of Books, the New Republic, Pacific Standard, Smithsonian, and The Washington Post, among other publications.

### Author social links  
[Twitter](<https://twitter.com/jaredbkeller>)  
[Facebook](<https://www.facebook.com/jaredbkeller>)  
[LinkedIn](<https://www.linkedin.com/in/jaredbkeller/>)  
[Instagram](<https://www.instagram.com/jaredbkelller/>)