---
title: "These Veterans Charities Aren’t Real, But Goddammit They Should Be"
description: "What the veteran community really needs is another nonprofit, right?"
date: "2019-01-30"
modified: "2019-01-30"
authors:
  - name: "James Clark"
    job_title: "Editor-in-Chief"
    link: "https://taskandpurpose.com/authors/james-clark/"
url: "https://taskandpurpose.com/culture/parody-veteran-charities/"
categories:
  - "Field Guide"
  - "Veterans"
---

# These Veterans Charities Aren’t Real, But Goddammit They Should Be

![](<https://taskandpurpose.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/19131771-1.png>)

Do you think there are too many veteran nonprofits with unclear goals and way too much overhead? Think again! What the world really needs is *more of those.*

Introducing Lamp Shades for Heroes, Tactical Giraffes for Ambitious Marines, Old Coats For Virginia Cavalry Scouts, and probably a few hundred unnecessary veteran nonprofits, all cobbled together with the help of an algorithm and a heavy dose of sarcasm.

These names are just a few of those auto-generated by [Everything for Warriors](<https://everythingforwarriors.org/>), a gag site that playfully lampoons the flood of 501(c)(3) organizations devoted to military veterans that have emerged in recent years.

As Chad Garland with Stars and Stripes [reported](<https://www.stripes.com/news/cuddles-for-airmen-and-other-nonprofits-you-didn-t-know-you-needed-1.566479>) yesterday, the site was created by Brian Wilson, who served in Iraq during his six years in the National Guard and now works at [Combined Arms](<https://combinedarms.us/>), a (very real) nonprofit that connects connects Houston-based veterans with vetted charities in the area.

"There are some 250 places that offer help to veterans in Houston alone," Wilson [told Stars and Stripes](<https://www.stripes.com/news/cuddles-for-airmen-and-other-nonprofits-you-didn-t-know-you-needed-1.566479>). "Some have disappeared, some have been investigated for fraud, some have succeeded and some ... are just there not really making an impact."

The site generates its names from hundreds of phrases and nouns and then sprinkles in bits of military jargon, which is how you end up with gems like this:

![](<https://taskandpurpose.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/image-placeholder-title-309.png>)

So, pretty much your standard care package?Everything For Warriors

Which got us thinking? Which of these faux foundations would we actually want? Glad you asked.

### Pencils For Lackadaisical Transportation Specialists

### Tactical Giraffes For Ambitious Marines

![](<https://taskandpurpose.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/image-placeholder-title-311.png>)

### Velcro Wallets For Prudish Heroes

### Old Coats For West Virginia Cavalry Scouts

### Lamp Shades For Heroes

![](<https://taskandpurpose.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/image-placeholder-title-314.png>)

### Shawls For Chronically Late Cavalry Scouts

### Birth Control For American Marines

![](<https://taskandpurpose.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/image-placeholder-title-316.png>)

### Pickles For Utah C-130 Pilots

### Fancy Hats For Wisconsin Yeoman

### Flintlock Rifles For Rancid Marines

### Lunch Meats For Virginia Public Affairs Officers

### Books For Scrawny Enlisted

## Author
James Clark is the editor-in-chief of Task & Purpose. He is a former Marine and a veteran of the War in Afghanistan.

### Author social links  
[Twitter](<https://twitter.com/JamesWClark>)  
[LinkedIn](<https://www.linkedin.com/in/jclarkjournalism/>)