The new Netflix ‘Space Force’ series sounds way better than the actual military branch

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VIDEO: To boldly go where no man had gone before, and destroy everything

VIDEO: To boldly go where no man had gone before, and destroy everything

It's been nine months since Netflix first announced that Steve Carell would star in new "workplace comedy" Space Force, and the streaming giant has finally delivered us a slate of beautiful babies to populate what we're praying will resemble The Office in freakin' outer space.

Seven actors, including the legendarily droll John Malkovich and rubber-faced Ben Schwartz, have joined the cast of Space Force as members of the team that, led by Carell, is tasked with actually building the sixth branch of the U.S. armed forces from the ground up, Variety reported on Thursday.

The additions of the Academy Award-nominated Malkovich and comedian Schwartz — best known for his role as incompetent hype-man Jean-Ralphio Saperstein on Parks and Recreation and, I shit you not, the voice of the droid BB-8 in the new Star Wars movies —are exciting in their own right given their comedic range.

But the Variety report also includes fresh character details for Carell, Malkovich and Schwartz, as well as newly-cast regulars Tawny Newsome and Diana Silvers and guest stars Jimmy O. Yang, Don Lake, and Alex Sparrow, all of which help paint a picture of what Netflix's ambitious workplace hullabaloo will actually look like.

America, meet your new Space Force:

  • The Boss: Steve Carell plays Mark R. Naird, "a General tapped by the White House to lead a new branch of the Armed Forces with the goal of putting American 'Boots on the Moon' by 2024," per Variety. I bet you $20 the real-life White House surprise-announces a "Boots on the Moon" mission within weeks of the show's premiere.
  • The Science Chief: John Malkovich will play head science advisor Dr. Adrian Mallory, described to Variety as "brilliant, arrogant and hoping to prevent space from becoming the next great international battlefield."
  • The PAO: Ben Schwartz will play F. Tony Scarapiducci, "a self-centered media consultant whose Machiavellian goals only sometimes line up with those" of Carell's character, per Variety.
  • The Military Brat: Diana Silvers plays Carell's daughter Erin, "a popular and an A-student in Washington DC an outcast in Wild Horse, Colorado after transferring to a remote military base and turns to delinquency." Sounds like a country song.
  • The Pilot: Tawny Newsome plays helicopter pilot Angela Ali, per Variety: "Described as ambitious and competitive, Ali has secret dreams that she keeps close to the vest." Expected aviation readiness jokes, maybe.
  • The Tech Guy: Jimmy O. Yang plays Doctor Chan Kaifang, the "right hand man" Malkovich' character who Variety describes as "a brilliant astrophysicist and rocket engineer who immigrated from China as a teenager and loves all things American, from fly fishing to the Baltimore Orioles."
  • The Gopher/Scapegoat: Don Lake, will play Brad Gregory, Carell's "gatekeeper and assistant" who is "actually a one-star general in his own right." I can't wait to FOA this guy's jacket.

Last but not least is Alex Sparrow as The Russian, or Yuri "Bobby" Telatovich, a "charming observer from the Russian Government" who Variety describes as "curious about many things in Mark's life, like his daughter, or the tech specs of the Javelin missile."

Too real, man. Too real.