A Sailor Was Arrested For Allegedly Carrying Out The Dumbest Crime Possible

Code Red News

Remember that old show World's Dumbest Criminals?

There's a 31-year-old sailor apparently trying to impress the show's casting director.

Gunner's Mate 2nd Class Aaron Booker was arrested by Navy investigators in Great Lakes, Ill. on Tuesday on suspicion that he stole 20 concussion grenades from a ship he had been serving on in San Diego, according to Associated Press.

Now, you may be thinking, hmm, well, that doesn't seem that dumb. Brace yourself, reader.

Booker was previously assigned to the USS Pinckney in the Weapons Department, where one of his duties was to check the temperature of the locker where the grenades were kept. As is the case with armories, only a limited number of people have access to certain areas.

In Feb. 2017, the grenades were discovered missing. A week later, Booker left for his next duty station in Great Lakes.

Oh, but it gets so much better.

The grenades were found roughly two months later, but not on Booker. Officials told AP the stolen items were inside of a black military backpack, leaning on a guardrail alongside I-15 in Arizona. A tag inside said, "GM2 BOOKER," which makes me laugh hysterically, and yet makes me think of so many questions.

To be clear, Booker denies he took the grenades and these are mere allegations, though he told investigators two grenades that went missing may have wound up in Mexico (how would you know that?).

So, question: Did you ever think, hey, maybe someone is going to check on how many there are in this locker and the timing of my leaving the ship could be suspicious? (Probably not).

What the hell are you going to do with concussion grenades? Are these for home defense?

Anyway, Booker faces up to 10 years in jail and a $250,000 fine if convicted, which could hopefully be softened if truTV brings back the show for another season.

U.S Navy/Mass Communication Specialist Seaman Kelsey J. Hockenberger
Photo: Lance Cpl. Taylor Cooper

The Marine lieutenant colonel removed from command of the 1st Reconnaissance Battalion in May was ousted over alleged "misconduct" but has not been charged with a crime, Task & Purpose has learned.

Lt. Col. Francisco Zavala, 42, who was removed from his post by the commanding general of 1st Marine Division on May 7, has since been reassigned to the command element of 1st Marine Expeditionary Force, and a decision on whether he will be charged is "still pending," MEF spokeswoman 1st Lt. Virginia Burger told Task & Purpose last week.

"We are not aware of any ongoing or additional investigations of Lt. Col. Zavala at this time," MEF spokesman 2nd Lt. Brian Tuthill told Task & Purpose on Monday. "The command investigation was closed May 14 and the alleged misconduct concerns Articles 128 and 133 of the UCMJ," Tuthill added, mentioning offenses under military law that deal with assault and conduct unbecoming an officer and gentleman.

"There is a period of due process afforded the accused and he is presumed innocent until proven guilty," he said.

When asked for an explanation for the delay, MEF officials directed Task & Purpose to contact 1st Marine Division officials, who did not respond before deadline.

The investigation of Zavala, completed on May 3 and released to Task & Purpose in response to a Freedom of Information Act request, showed that he had allegedly acted inappropriately. The report also confirmed some details of his wife's account of alleged domestic violence that Task & Purpose first reported last month.

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