These 4 Celebrities Didn't Serve In The US Military, And We're Very OK With That

Humor

I think I’ve seen every list, article, and VH1 video concerning celebrities and their military service. Hell, I may be responsible for some myself. As I do once every two months, I was reading through my personal and comprehensive collection of Maxim magazines.


But after a deep moment of meditation, I had an epiphany: At this point in American history, we’re not really going to see a lot of names added to the list.

Why? Because with the exception of a few people in the Global War On Terror, most big names who served in the military served from World War II until around Vietnam because the government forced them to.

Cage the Elephant, about to take the stage at Firefly music festival as concertgoers wander the Delaware wasteland.

Regardless, we gravitate toward these lists because we like to see those who we look up to on the stage or screen share a major commonality with those who served. It makes them feel more human than any character they play ever could in the same way there’s something about seeing a musical legend wearing the same uniform as us. We gravitate toward the idea that at one point we were all the same — and everything about status and celebrity goes out the window in that world. 

We were all just lowly privates trying not to get yelled at. It was a simpler time for all — until they joined a band, got famous, had access to all the women and drugs in the world. They became celebrities, had yacht parties, made millions, and bought a giant home overlooking Los Angeles. You just sit in a cubicle all day. 

Jack takes on the hordes after a hard day of writing posts and making videos for you, the Task and Purpose reader.

"It's kind of like the equivalent of dropping a soda can into canyon and putting on a blindfold and going and finding it, because you can't just look down and see it," diver Jeff Goodreau said of finding the wreck.

The USS Eagle 56 was only five miles off the coast of Maine when it exploded.

The World War I-era patrol boat split in half, then slipped beneath the surface of the North Atlantic. The Eagle 56 had been carrying a crew of 62. Rescuers pulled 13 survivors from the water that day. It was April 23, 1945, just two weeks before the surrender of Nazi Germany.

The U.S. Navy classified the disaster as an accident, attributing the sinking to a blast in the boiler room. In 2001, that ruling was changed to reflect the sinking as a deliberate act of war, perpetuated by German submarine U-853, a u-boat belonging to Nazi Germany's Kriegsmarine.

Still, despite the Navy's effort to clarify the circumstances surrounding the sinking, the Eagle 56 lingered as a mystery. The ship had sunk relatively close to shore, but efforts to locate the wreck were futile for decades. No one could find the Eagle 56, a small patrol ship that had come so close to making it back home.

Then, a group of friends and amateur divers decided to try to find the wreck in 2014. After years of fruitless dives and intensive research, New England-based Nomad Exploration Team successfully located the Eagle 56 in June 2018.

Business Insider spoke to two crew members — meat truck driver Jeff Goodreau and Massachusetts Department of Corrections officer Donald Ferrara — about their discovery.

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(CIA photo)

Before the 5th Special Forces Group's Operational Detachment Alpha 595, before 160th Special Operations Aviation Regiment's MH-47E Chinooks, and before the Air Force combat controllers, there were a handful of CIA officers and a buttload of cash.

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The last time the world saw Marine veteran Austin Tice, he had been taken prisoner by armed men. It was unclear whether his captors were jihadists or allies of Syrian dictator Bashar al Assad who were disguised as Islamic radicals.

Blindfolded and nearly out of breath, Tice spoke in Arabic before breaking into English:"Oh Jesus. Oh Jesus."

That was from a video posted on YouTube on Sept. 26, 2012, several weeks after Tice went missing near Damascus, Syria, while working as a freelance journalist for McClatchy and the Washington Post.

Now that Tice has been held in captivity for more than seven years, reporters who have regular access to President Donald Trump need to start asking him how he is going to bring Tice home.

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"Shoots like a carbine, holsters like a pistol." That's the pitch behind the new Flux Defense system designed to transform the Army's brand new sidearm into a personal defense weapon.

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Sometimes a joke just doesn't work.

For example, the Defense Visual Information Distribution Service tweeted and subsequently deleted a Gilbert Gottfried-esque misfire about the "Storm Area 51" movement.

On Friday DVIDSHUB tweeted a picture of a B-2 bomber on the flight line with a formation of airmen in front of it along with the caption: "The last thing #Millenials will see if they attempt the #area51raid today."

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