These 4 Celebrities Didn't Serve In The US Military, And We're Very OK With That

Humor

I think I’ve seen every list, article, and VH1 video concerning celebrities and their military service. Hell, I may be responsible for some myself. As I do once every two months, I was reading through my personal and comprehensive collection of Maxim magazines.


But after a deep moment of meditation, I had an epiphany: At this point in American history, we’re not really going to see a lot of names added to the list.

Why? Because with the exception of a few people in the Global War On Terror, most big names who served in the military served from World War II until around Vietnam because the government forced them to.

Cage the Elephant, about to take the stage at Firefly music festival as concertgoers wander the Delaware wasteland.

Regardless, we gravitate toward these lists because we like to see those who we look up to on the stage or screen share a major commonality with those who served. It makes them feel more human than any character they play ever could in the same way there’s something about seeing a musical legend wearing the same uniform as us. We gravitate toward the idea that at one point we were all the same — and everything about status and celebrity goes out the window in that world. 

We were all just lowly privates trying not to get yelled at. It was a simpler time for all — until they joined a band, got famous, had access to all the women and drugs in the world. They became celebrities, had yacht parties, made millions, and bought a giant home overlooking Los Angeles. You just sit in a cubicle all day. 

Jack takes on the hordes after a hard day of writing posts and making videos for you, the Task and Purpose reader.

Photo: Lance Cpl. Taylor Cooper

The Marine lieutenant colonel removed from command of the 1st Reconnaissance Battalion in May was ousted over alleged "misconduct" but has not been charged with a crime, Task & Purpose has learned.

Lt. Col. Francisco Zavala, 42, who was removed from his post by the commanding general of 1st Marine Division on May 7, has since been reassigned to the command element of 1st Marine Expeditionary Force, and a decision on whether he will be charged is "still pending," MEF spokeswoman 1st Lt. Virginia Burger told Task & Purpose last week.

"We are not aware of any ongoing or additional investigations of Lt. Col. Zavala at this time," MEF spokesman 2nd Lt. Brian Tuthill told Task & Purpose on Monday. "The command investigation was closed May 14 and the alleged misconduct concerns Articles 128 and 133 of the UCMJ," Tuthill added, mentioning offenses under military law that deal with assault and conduct unbecoming an officer and gentleman.

"There is a period of due process afforded the accused and he is presumed innocent until proven guilty," he said.

When asked for an explanation for the delay, MEF officials directed Task & Purpose to contact 1st Marine Division officials, who did not respond before deadline.

The investigation of Zavala, completed on May 3 and released to Task & Purpose in response to a Freedom of Information Act request, showed that he had allegedly acted inappropriately. The report also confirmed some details of his wife's account of alleged domestic violence that Task & Purpose first reported last month.

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Editor's Note: This article originally appeared on Business Insider.

Iran says it will exceed limits on its enriched uranium stockpiles agreed in its 2015 nuclear deal, the latest escalation in tensions after the US accused Iran of sabotaging oil tankers last week.

Under the 2015 deal — formally known as the Joint Comprehensive Plan of Action (JCPOA) — Iran agreed with the Obama administration and several European states to limit uranium production.

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