A porn-watching employee at the U.S. Geological Survey got government networks infected with Russian malware, according to an Inspector General report, which begs the question of whether this unnamed individual was hard at work or hardly working, among others.
Now that you have that terrible image in your head, let's look at a memo written of the taxpayer-funded porn fan, which details an investigation conducted at USGS' Earth Resources Observation and Science Center in Sioux Falls, South Dakota.
According to the Oct. 17 memo, the employee — who we'll just call Bob — used his work computer to access unauthorized web pages that hosted malware, and had "an extensive history of visiting adult pornographic websites."
How many, you ask?
Oh, I don't know. Maybe something like 9,000.
"Many of the 9,000 web pages [Bob] visited routed through websites that originated in Russia and contained malware," the memo said. Of course, Bob wasn't happy just sitting at his desktop and viewing porn in the privacy of his own government office: He saved a bunch of it to a USB thumb drive and his personal Android smart phone, for viewing on the go.
"We found that [Bob's] personal cell phone was also infected with malware," the memo said, not surprisingly.
The memo went on to recommend blacklisting a bunch of web sites and the implementation of technical measures to prevent employees from using USB ports. But Bob isn't alone in his thirst for porn in the workplace.
As an investigation by a Washington-based NBC affiliate showed, almost 100 federal employees "have admitted to or been caught" watching porn on the job over the past five years, including some who spent "six hours a day" on the practice.
That is certainly not in the description they put on USA Jobs.
If the Pentagon had to take Consumer Math class in high school, they'd flunk.
The U.S. military—correction, the U.S. taxpayer—is spending more money to buy fewer weapons. The reason? Poor acquisition practices, according to a report by the Government Accountability Office (GAO).
"DOD's 2018 portfolio of major weapon programs has grown in cost by $8 billion, but contains four fewer systems than last year," GAO found.
He's an Oklahoman and an Air Force vet, an actor and martial artist. The intensity of his badassery formed the basis of one of the earliest and most ubiquitous internet memes. He's a fictional member of Delta Force and a Texas Ranger, his beard a source of such virile endurance and strength that it makes Samson's biblical mane look like a bouquet of hobo pubes.
Now, Norris will live forever as the ultimate instrument of righteousness: an M1 Abrams tank.