Kick Off Veterans Day Weekend With The Greatest Safety Brief Of All Time

Humor
So, who else thinks this skit was punishment for something these Marines did during their last 72 or 96?
Screengrab via YouTube

In addition to round-the-clock drinking, barbecuing, and restaurant-hopping in search of free and cheap eats, holiday weekends also mean last-minute safety briefs. A tradition all its own, a safety brief is a three- to five-minute preemptive ass-chewing, where an exhausted-looking platoon commander or sergeant begs his troops not to act like savages over the long weekend: “Don’t drink and drive, don’t drink and surf, don’t drink and skydive — if you do skydive, bring a parachute. If you do get too drunk, call (number of the poor schmuck on duty). If you see me at the bar, don’t talk to me. I hate you all.”


But sometimes, the safety brief can actually be pretty entertaining (or depressing when you consider the guidance is based on all the idiotic things Marines/soldiers/sailors/airmen have done over past weekends) — and occasionally, there’s a safety brief so perfect, that it’s practically a work of art.  

This video, posted to YouTube back in May 2014 which shows an unnamed Marine platoon sergeant giving guidance and helpful tips like: Yes, you can get a DUI on a Segway.

Related:  7 Other Honors The Marines Should Dish Out During The Birthday Ball »

It also features ample use of the f-bomb, props (aka, a pair of voluntold lance corporals), at least one neon green man thong, and a very accurate rendition of riding a jet ski (though, from the “jet ski’s” perspective, it probably wasn’t that great.)

In honor of the Marine Corps Birthday, and Veterans Day, form up in a school circle and stand by for the greatest weekend safety brief of all time.

The U.S. military does not need Iraqi permission to fly close air support and casualty evacuation missions for U.S. troops in combat, a top spokesman for the U.S.-led coalition fighting ISIS clarified on Tuesday.

Army Col. James Rawlinson clarified that the Iraqis do not need to approve missions in emergency circumstances after Task & Purpose reported on Monday that the U.S. military needed permission to fly CAS missions for troops in a fight.

Read More Show Less
Photo illustration by Paul Szoldra/Task & Purpose

It all began with a medical check.

Carson Thomas, a healthy and fit 20-year-old infantryman who had joined the Army after a brief stint in college, figured he should tell the medics about the pain in his groin he had been feeling. It was Feb. 12, 2012, and the senior medic looked him over and decided to send him to sick call at the base hospital.

It seemed almost routine, something the Army doctors would be able to diagnose and fix so he could get back to being a grunt.

Now looking back on what happened some seven years later, it was anything but routine.

Read More Show Less
The Armed Forces Service Medal has a green, blue and yellow ribbon and a bronze medal featuring a torch like that held by the Statue of Liberty. (U.S. Air Force/Staff Sgt. Alexx Pons)

Editor's Note: This article by Gina Harkins originally appeared onMilitary.com, a leading source of news for the military and veteran community.

Thousands of U.S. service members who've been sent to operate along the Mexico border will receive a military award reserved for troops who "encounter no foreign armed opposition or imminent hostile action."

The Pentagon has authorized troops who have deployed to the border to assist U.S. Customs and Border Protection (CBP) since last April to receive the Armed Forces Service Medal. Details about the decision were included in a Marine Corps administrative message in response to authorization from the Defense Department.

There is no end date for the award since the operation remains ongoing.

Read More Show Less
(Facebook/Naval Air Station)

Americans' mighty military may have met its match when it comes to erecting barriers to keep out intruders.

An alligator in Florida recently had zero trouble flopping over a chain-link fence to get onto a naval air base. Motorist Christina Stewart pulled over to film it, and local television station WJAX posted it on Facebook.

Read More Show Less
Retired Lt. Col. Wallace Ward, USMA Class of 1958, marches back with the Class of 2023. (U.S. Army/Brandon O'Connor)

Wallace Ward graduated from West Point in 1958. More than 60 years later, at age 87, he's still kicking ass and joining new academy plebes for the annual March Back.

Read More Show Less