In addition to round-the-clock drinking, barbecuing, and restaurant-hopping in search of free and cheap eats, holiday weekends also mean last-minute safety briefs. A tradition all its own, a safety brief is a three- to five-minute preemptive ass-chewing, where an exhausted-looking platoon commander or sergeant begs his troops not to act like savages over the long weekend: “Don’t drink and drive, don’t drink and surf, don’t drink and skydive — if you do skydive, bring a parachute. If you do get too drunk, call (number of the poor schmuck on duty). If you see me at the bar, don’t talk to me. I hate you all.”
But sometimes, the safety brief can actually be pretty entertaining (or depressing when you consider the guidance is based on all the idiotic things Marines/soldiers/sailors/airmen have done over past weekends) — and occasionally, there’s a safety brief so perfect, that it’s practically a work of art.
This video, posted to YouTube back in May 2014 which shows an unnamed Marine platoon sergeant giving guidance and helpful tips like: Yes, you can get a DUI on a Segway.
It also features ample use of the f-bomb, props (aka, a pair of voluntold lance corporals), at least one neon green man thong, and a very accurate rendition of riding a jet ski (though, from the “jet ski’s” perspective, it probably wasn’t that great.)
In honor of the Marine Corps Birthday, and Veterans Day, form up in a school circle and stand by for the greatest weekend safety brief of all time.
Two airmen were administratively punished for drinking at the missile launch control center for 150 nuclear LGM-30G Minuteman III intercontinental ballistic missiles at F.E. Warren Air Force Base in Wyoming, the Air Force confirmed to Task & Purpose on Friday.
Two F-35A Lightning II Joint Strike Fighters recently flew a mission in the Middle East in "beast mode," meaning they were loaded up with as much firepower as they could carry.
The F-35s with the 4th Expeditionary Fighter Squadron took off from Al Dhafra Air Base, United Arab Emirates to execute a mission in support of U.S. forces in Afghanistan, Air Forces Central Command revealed. The fifth-generation fighters sacrificed their high-end stealth to fly with a full loadout of weaponry on their wings.
The U.S. Senate closed out the week before Memorial Day by confirming Gen. James McConville as the Army's new chief of staff and Adm. Bill Moran as the Navy's new chief of naval operations.
McConville, previously vice chief of staff of the Army, was confirmed on Thursday along with his successor, Lt Gen. Joseph Marin. Moran, currently vice chief of naval operations, was confirmed Friday along with his successor, Vice Adm. Robert Burke.
The Pentagon is producing precisely diddly-squat in terms of proof that Iran is behind recent attacks in the Middle East, requiring more U.S. troops be sent to the region.
Adm. Michael Gilday, director of the Joint Staff, said on Friday that the U.S. military is extending the deployment of about 600 troops with four Patriot missile batteries already in the region and sending close to 1,000 other service members to the Middle East in response to an Iranian "campaign" against U.S. forces.