Reminder: Don't Go To Your Base Gate Dressed In A Suicide Bomber Costume

Humor
US Army

Perhaps your commanding officer may have forgotten to mention it this morning, but I'd like to offer that you shouldn't try to enter the front gate while dressed as a suicide bomber for Halloween.


It's Halloween! you might say, we should be able to go out in whatever costume we want!

And to some extent, I certainly agree. Sure, you could probably tape some scary-looking road flares and wires on your chest and put on a turban before heading out to trick-or-treat with the kids or meander the local streets while admiring the throngs of your fellow costume aficionados.

What harm is there in that?

To which I would say, none! Except for the chance that military police will freak the f--k out if you show up at the gate, call EOD, and initiate a base-wide lockdown due to a possible terrorist incident, which happened back at Fort Bragg in 2015.

"The Soldier was dressed as a suicide bomber with simulated explosive vest. The incident resulted in an emergency response, EOD clearing the entire scene and an extended closure of a gate. Although the incident remains under investigation, initial reports indicate it was a Halloween costume," read a post from the base on Facebook.

It's unclear what actually happened to the unnamed soldier, but if I were to place a bet, he or she probably no longer has an ass attached to their body since it was chewed off over an hour-long "counseling session" in the first sergeant's office.

Oh, and there's also a slight chance you could be arrested just for wearing it.

Still, while you shouldn't dress as a suicide bomber, you can try your luck as an adorable teddy bear instead.

WATCH NEXT:

Casperassets.rbl.ms

Benjamin Franklin nailed it when he said, "Fatigue is the best pillow." True story, Benny. There's nothing like pushing your body so far past exhaustion that you'd willingly, even longingly, take a nap on a concrete slab.

Take $75 off a Casper Mattress and $150 off a Wave Mattress with code TASKANDPURPOSE

And no one knows that better than military service members and we have the pictures to prove it.

Read More Show Less

R. Lee Ermey was laid to rest at Arlington National Cemetery on Friday.

Best known for his iconic role as the Marine Corps drill instructor Gunnery Sgt. Hartman in the war drama Full Metal Jacket, Ermey died April 15, 2018 at age 74 due to complications from pneumonia, Task & Purpose previously reported.

Read More Show Less
A B-2 Spirit bomber deployed from Whiteman Air Force Base, Missouri, and F-22 Raptors from the Hawaii Air National Guard's 154th Wing fly near Joint Base Pearl Harbor-Hickam, Hawaii, during a interoperability training mission Jan. 15, 2019. (U.S. Air Force/Master Sgt. Russ Scalf)

The U.S. Air Force has two of its most elite aircraft — the B-2 Spirit bomber and the F-22 Raptor — training together in the Pacific, reassuring America's allies and sending a warning to strategic competitors and adversaries about the sheer power the U.S. brings to the table.

These stunning photos show the powerful aircraft tearing across the Pacific, where the U.S. has increasingly found itself facing challenges from a rising China.

Read More Show Less

A Ranger has died after being wounded by small arms fire during a Jan. 13 battle in northwest Afghanistan, the Pentagon announced on Friday.

Read More Show Less
Sgt. Trey Troney (U.S. Army photo)

It's a familiar tale of service to American society far beyond the U.S. armed forces. A soldier encounters a traffic accident while traveling home and immediately rushes to aid a driver trapped in his vehicle and, after freeing him, saves his life with nothing more than a hoodie, a pen, and the training he received from his unit's medics. It's the stuff that Army recruiting commercials are made of.

Except there's one problem: It's most likely bullshit.

Read More Show Less