H&K to Marines: Please don't try to break your new rifle, you crayon-eating simpletons

Mandatory Fun

Have you ever wondered what would happen if the employee behind a firearm company's Facebook page decided to goad a bunch of Marines into destroying their brand new firearms? Now you know.


In a deliciously viral Facebook post, Heckler & Koch — the maker of the M27 Infantry Automatic Rifle slated to replace the M4 carbine and M249 Squad Automatic Weapon for Marines everywhere — flaunted the first shipment of rifles with an achingly familiar challenge to Marines: Go ahead and just try to break these bad boys.

"A fresh batch of M27 rifles leaving Georgia headed to the Devil Dogs," the post reads. "If any of you crayon eaters are reading this, please treat them nice, even though we built them to be Marine proof."

Based on the responses from the H&K employee behind the Facebook account, identified as "Social Media Girl," every Marine's new rifle comes with a slate of tired Marine-centric insults from the manufacturer.

So Marines ... love crayons ... can't read ... and are dumb as rocks? I mean, sure, but speaking as a civilian that covers the military, these responses are exactly the sort of thing a civilian would Google as part of some silly ploy to troll Marines and get a pat on the head from corporate overlords.

We now go live to H&K HQ:

it's a hellscape. Get it? upload.wikimedia.org

Heckler & Koch's first batch of M27 Infantry Automatic Rifles
Jeff Schogol

Navy Secretary Richard Spencer took the reins at the Pentagon on Monday, becoming the third acting defense secretary since January.

Spencer is expected to temporarily lead the Pentagon while the Senate considers Army Secretary Mark Esper's nomination to succeed James Mattis as defense secretary. The Senate officially received Esper's nomination on Monday.

Read More Show Less

U.S. Special Operations Command may be on the verge of making the dream of flying infantry soldiers a reality, but the French may very well beat them to it.

On Sunday, French President Emmanuel Macron shared an unusual video showing a man on a flying platform — widely characterized as a "hoverboard" — maneuvering through the skies above the Bastille Day celebrations in Paris armed with what appears to be a dummy firearm.

The video was accompanied with a simple message of "Fier de notre armée, moderne et innovante," which translates to "proud of our army, modern and innovative," suggesting that the French Armed Forces may be eyeing the unusual vehicle for potential military applications.

Read More Show Less
(New Jersey National Guard photo by Mark C. Olsen)

If you've ever wondered if the Pentagon has ever exposed the American public to ticks infected with biological weapons, you're not alone.

Rep. Christopher Smith (R-N.J.) authored an amendment to the House version of the Fiscal 2020 National Defense Authorization Act would require the Defense Department Inspector General's Office to find out if the U.S. military experimented with using ticks and other insects as biological weapons between 1950 and 1975.

If such experiments took place, the amendment would require the inspector general's office to tell lawmakers if any of the ticks or other bugs "were released outside of any laboratory by accident or experiment design."

Read More Show Less

There's no one path to military service. For some, it's a lifelong goal, for others, it's a choice made in an instant.

For 27-year-old Marine Pvt. Atiqullah Assadi, who graduated from Marine Corps bootcamp on July 12, the decision to enlist was the culmination of a journey that began when he and his family were forced to flee their home in Afghanistan.

Read More Show Less