H&K to Marines: Please don't try to break your new rifle, you crayon-eating simpletons

Mandatory Fun
Heckler & Koch's first batch of M27 Infantry Automatic Rifles

Have you ever wondered what would happen if the employee behind a firearm company's Facebook page decided to goad a bunch of Marines into destroying their brand new firearms? Now you know.


In a deliciously viral Facebook post, Heckler & Koch — the maker of the M27 Infantry Automatic Rifle slated to replace the M4 carbine and M249 Squad Automatic Weapon for Marines everywhere — flaunted the first shipment of rifles with an achingly familiar challenge to Marines: Go ahead and just try to break these bad boys.

"A fresh batch of M27 rifles leaving Georgia headed to the Devil Dogs," the post reads. "If any of you crayon eaters are reading this, please treat them nice, even though we built them to be Marine proof."

Based on the responses from the H&K employee behind the Facebook account, identified as "Social Media Girl," every Marine's new rifle comes with a slate of tired Marine-centric insults from the manufacturer.

So Marines ... love crayons ... can't read ... and are dumb as rocks? I mean, sure, but speaking as a civilian that covers the military, these responses are exactly the sort of thing a civilian would Google as part of some silly ploy to troll Marines and get a pat on the head from corporate overlords.

We now go live to H&K HQ:

it's a hellscape. Get it? upload.wikimedia.org

Afghan National Army soldiers practice the prone shooting position during a class given by coalition force members on the fundamentals of marksmanship in Farah province, Feb. 14, 2013. (U.S. Marine Corps/Sgt. Chadwick de Bree)

Members of the Afghan National Defense and Security Forces frequently robbed and abused native Afghan personnel hired under three maintenance and operations contracts at ANDSF military bases, according to an alarming new report from the Special Inspector General for Afghanistan Reconstruction, confiscating a total of $780,000 in property and equipment and often detaining workers at gunpoint.

More disturbingly, the Resolute Support mission's Combined Security Transition Command - Afghanistan "has not issued any financial penalties against the ANDSF" for the mistreatment of its O&M because withholding funds, according to the SIGAR report "harms ANDSF forces more than it would tend to change behavior" of corrupt security forces.

Read More Show Less
Dan Caldwell, the executive director of Concerned Veterans for America, and Jon Soltz, the chairman for VoteVets on MSNBC's Morning Joe on March 18 discussing their campaign to see Congress end America's Forever Wars. (MSNBC/Youtube)

Two political veterans groups, one conservative, the other liberal, have spent millions fighting each other on various fronts, from Department of Veterans Affairs reform — what one group calls "choice" and the other calls "privatization" — to getting their pick of candidates into office.

But they've found common ground on at least one issue: It's time for Congress to have an open debate about ending the Forever Wars.

Read More Show Less

It may be one of the most important Air Force installations in the continental United States, but Offutt Air Force Base has proven no match for the full fury of the Missouri River.

Read More Show Less

Up to 1,000 U.S. troops could remain in Syria — more than twice as many as originally announced, according to the Wall Street Journal.

President Donald Trump initially announced in December that he would withdraw all U.S. troops from Syria, but U.S. officials said in February that several hundred troops are expected to remain in Syria to create a "safe zone" along the border with Turkey and to man the al-Tanf garrison, which is located along a supply rote that would allow Iran to supply its proxies in Syria.

On Sunday, Dion Nissenbaum and Nancy Youssef of the Wall Street Journal first reported that the U.S. military is considering leaving as many as 1,000 troops in Syria to prevent Turkey from attacking the United States' Kurdish allies. So far, the United States and Turkey have failed to agree on how to secure the proposed safe zone.

Read More Show Less
U.S. Army Sgt. James R. Moore of Portland, Ore., a logitstics NCO with the 642nd Regional Support Group, shoots at the Fort Pickett rifle range as part of the Mortuary Affairs Exercise Aug. 15, 2018. (U.S. Army/Sgt. 1st Class Gary A. Witte, 642nd Regional Support Group)

Editor's Note: This article by Matthew Cox originally appeared on Military.com, a leading source of news for the military and veteran community.

The head of Army Materiel Command said recently that he is putting a high priority on munitions readiness to make sure Army units are prepared for the next war.

Read More Show Less