Here’s The Winner Of The Long March's Mil-Speak Contest

The Long March
U.S. Army

The mil-speak contest votes are in, from the Army, the Marine Corps, the Navy, the Pentagon, the VA, and, yes, even the State Department. And the winner in our contest to write the best military sentence that is incomprehensible to civilians is entry no. 8, from William Treadway, who wrote, and I quote,

“You won’t believe this: A Troop SP’d from COP Sablaghay at 0430 on a MTC, CUOPS reported TIC at 0615, so Squadron FSO and his battle buddy Mike Golf adjusted POF and cleared a ROZ for the pink team to give the on-ground commander rotary fires, but Apache White *still* went black on Class V anyway down at the two-way firing range, so of course, the good idea fairy at the Brigade 4 shop brilliantly ordered a speedball full of Class I *only* and the -60s from Lift dropped them a K from the DZ on some poor SOB’s jingle truck rolling down RTE 1 and now Brigade ADSO says I’ve gotta do the GD AGAR on it!”

He gets a signed copy of one of my books.


Second place goes to no. 15, Jon Lindley, who offered, with poetic simplicity, “Check it out, fuckfaces, Top wants us to un-ass this AO like yesterday, then I need 2 for KP.”

Mark and Jon, please send me an e-mail ( with a good mailing address, and your prizes will follow.

Benjamin Franklin nailed it when he said, "Fatigue is the best pillow." True story, Benny. There's nothing like pushing your body so far past exhaustion that you'd willingly, even longingly, take a nap on a concrete slab.

Take $75 off a Casper Mattress and $150 off a Wave Mattress with code TASKANDPURPOSE

And no one knows that better than military service members and we have the pictures to prove it.

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Airman 1st Class Isaiah Edwards has been sentenced to 35 years in prison after a military jury found him guilty of murder in connection with the death of a fellow airman in Guam, Air Force officials announced on Tuesday.

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It took four years for the Army to finally start fielding the much-hyped Joint Light Tactical Vehicles, and it took soldiers less than four days to destroy one.

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Capt. Jonathan Turnbull. (U.S. Army)

A soldier remains in serious condition after being injured in the deadly ISIS bombing that killed two other U.S. service members, a DoD civilian, and a defense contractor in Syria last week, Stars and Stripes reports.

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A Russian man got drunk as all hell and tried to hijack an airplane on Tuesday, according to Russian news agencies.

So, pretty much your typical day in Siberia. No seriously: As Reuters notes, "drunken incidents involving passengers on commercial flights in Russia are fairly common, though it is unusual for them to result in flights being diverted."

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