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Don't Die In The Zombie Apocalypse. Follow These 9 Steps.
If you're reading this, chances are you're a service member, so you probably already have a pretty solid zombie escape and survival plan. Personally, I've never met a single service member who did not have one. That could just be because I was stationed out of Twentynine Palms, California, and everyone who's ever been there for more than an hour agrees that it is the place where the undead will probably first begin to rise up to feast on the living. (Probably just start clambering right out of Amboy Crater and blend right in with all the meth heads.) For those who don't know what I'm talking about, don't worry. We already have pre-planned artillery targets established there, so that will slow the zombies down a bit.
Terrible duty stations notwithstanding, I'm going to assume that you already have a plan in place. And it undoubtedly has all the basics covered: escape routes, vehicles, weaponry, food supplies, cool quips for when you dispatch a zombie in a particularly impressive way.
But what may have applied when you were living on or near a base may no longer apply in civilian life. For example, living in New York City, I have absolutely no access to firearms, or any weapon deadlier than my old ceremonial sword. And that thing is basically a giant butter knife with a ridiculous black tassel thing on it, so it's not going to do much good when it comes to chopping heads off.
So, I've jotted down a few pointers to help update your zombie survival plan for civilian life:
- Learn to cook. No matter how many boxes of MREs you "acquired" from various field ops over the years, they will only last so long.
- Learn what's actually edible in your local ecosystem. You don't want to be that guy/gal who survives hordes of the undead only to die from eating the wrong kind of mushroom.
- Have aspirin and ice packs ready. Sure, we all mock corpsmen/medics for being good for nothing else, but you never know when you might actually need these items once said regular providers are either gone or trying to eat you.
- Grow your hair out. You may be used to a cool, breezy high-and-tight, but more hair on your head means more covering between chomping teeth and your precious, precious brains. You're a veteran, so you probably have a motorcycle and a helmet to go with it. Wear it over your new long hair.
- Make sure the people you plan to band together with are in good shape, yourself included. We all remember how to PT, even if we'd rather not. You don't want a loved one to be left behind and torn apart by zombies. But if you have that one friend in your social circle you're getting annoyed with, maybe look into throwing a few extra fries their way every now and then. Never hurts to have a decoy ready.
- Make sure you have suitable body armor on hand. You'd be amazed at the protective gear you can fashion out of plumbing supplies and leftover pieces from IKEA furniture. If you're not the handy type, learn where the nearest museum with a medieval exhibit is.
- Never dummy-cord anything to yourself. That's just something a zombie can grab hold of. Ignore the voice of every senior non-commissioned officer screaming in the back of your mind to tie everything you're carrying to everything else.
- If you're looking to assemble a survivor group of fellow veterans, go for service diversity. Yes, it's good to have a Marine or soldier who can yell, punch, and explode his or her way out situations. But it's probably good to include an airman or sailor to advise caution and do math. And Coasties usually make good swimmers and pilots, so they can't hurt to have around.
- If you live in the country, make sure you stay cordial with a friend who lives in the city, and vice-versa. Maybe it will be the rural areas, with low population density, that will be safest. Or maybe a centralized, well-organized city will become the haven for survivors. You never know, so it's best to keep your options open.
I'm sure the plan you already had was a stellar one, but these bullet points are pretty universally applicable additions you should consider. After all, it's better to take these extra preparations and not need them than to wish you'd listened to me as zombies are chewing on the freshly shaved sides of your head. And those survivors within earshot who heeded my insight will shake their scruffy heads at your screams while undead teeth try to chew through the pieces of an Ektorp couch duct taped to their arms. Then I, with my razor-sharp Mameluke sword, will lead the motorcycle-helmeted masses to my buddy Will's place down in Georgia. Because he's in the middle of nowhere, has a ton of guns, and probably has a way more-thought-out plan than I do.
The wait is over: the Marine Corps's brand new sniper is officially ready for action.
The Mk13 Mod 7 sniper rifle reached full operational capacity earlier this year after extensive testing, Marine Corps Systems Command announced on Wednesday. Now, the new rifle is finally available in both scout snipers and recon Marine arsenals.
DUBAI (Reuters) - Iran announced on Monday it had captured 17 spies working for the U.S. Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) and sentenced some of them to death, deepening a crisis between the Islamic Republic and the West.
Iranian state television published images that it said showed the CIA officers who had been in touch with the suspected spies.
In a statement read on state television, the Ministry of Intelligence said 17 spies had been arrested in the 12 months to March 2019. Some have been sentenced to death, according to another report.
One of the few things that aggravates your friend and humble narrator more than hazelnut flavored coffee is Soviet apologists.
Case in point: A recent opinion piece in the New York Times claims the Soviet space program was a model for equality, noting the Soviets put a woman into space 20 years before NASA when Cosmonaut Valentina Tereshkova orbited the Earth in 1963.
"Cosmonaut diversity was key for the Soviet message to the rest of the globe: Under socialism, a person of even the humblest origins could make it all the way up," wrote Sophie Pinkham just in time for the 50th anniversary of the Apollo 11 moon landing.
This 100-year-old vet escaped a Nazi prison camp. Now he's at the center of a lawsuit over a Bible at his local VA
Herman "Herk" Streitburger was on his final bombing mission and due to go home when his plane was hit by German fighters over Hungary in 1944. He was captured and held as a prisoner of war, enduring starvation, forced marches and a harrowing escape.
Streitburger just turned 100 years old. That makes him a national treasure as well as a Granite State hero.
Streitburger, who lives in Bedford, gets around using a cane and remains active in POW groups and events. It was he who donated his family Bible to a POW "missing man" display at the VA Medical Center in Manchester, which prompted a federal First Amendment lawsuit.
And every year, he tells his World War II story to Manchester schoolchildren. It's a story worth retelling.
A new Marine Corps anti-drone system that attaches to all-terrain vehicles and can scan the skies for enemy aircraft from aboard Navy ships was responsible for destroying an Iranian drone, Military.com has learned.