Reminder: Don't Go To Your Base Gate Dressed In A Suicide Bomber Costume

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18990936

Perhaps your commanding officer may have forgotten to mention it this morning, but I'd like to offer that you shouldn't try to enter the front gate while dressed as a suicide bomber for Halloween.

It's Halloween! you might say, we should be able to go out in whatever costume we want!

And to some extent, I certainly agree. Sure, you could probably tape some scary-looking road flares and wires on your chest and put on a turban before heading out to trick-or-treat with the kids or meander the local streets while admiring the throngs of your fellow costume aficionados.

What harm is there in that?

To which I would say, none! Except for the chance that military police will freak the f--k out if you show up at the gate, call EOD, and initiate a base-wide lockdown due to a possible terrorist incident, which happened back at Fort Bragg in 2015.

"The Soldier was dressed as a suicide bomber with simulated explosive vest. The incident resulted in an emergency response, EOD clearing the entire scene and an extended closure of a gate. Although the incident remains under investigation, initial reports indicate it was a Halloween costume," read a post from the base on Facebook.

It's unclear what actually happened to the unnamed soldier, but if I were to place a bet, he or she probably no longer has an ass attached to their body since it was chewed off over an hour-long "counseling session" in the first sergeant's office.

Oh, and there's also a slight chance you could be arrested just for wearing it.

Still, while you shouldn't dress as a suicide bomber, you can try your luck as an adorable teddy bear instead.

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