The Japanese minister tasked with maintaining the government’s cybersecurity capabilities has reportedly never used a computer before in his adult life, the Associated Press reports with a straight face.

  • “Since the age of 25, I have instructed my employees and secretaries, so I don’t use computers myself,” Yoshitaka Sakurada, now 68, told his fellow lawmakers during a Wednesday inquiry.
  • “I give instructions to my aide and so I don’t punch into a computer myself,” the official, also in charge of the 2020 Olympics in Tokyo for reasons beyond us, added. “But I am confident our work is flawless.”

 

  • According to the AP, Sakurada also asserted that Japanese utilities, increasingly a plum target for state-sanctioned hackers, “basically never used” USB ports — a batshit insane assertion considering that USB is the industry standard virtually everywhere on the planet.

Still, there is a more positive way of looking at this situation:

  • “It’s unbelievable that someone who has not touched computers is responsible for cybersecurity policies,” Masato Imai, an opposition lawmaker, told the Bangkok Post.
  • We’ll just leave this here:

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