Do you have an outdoor grill? Is it American? Is it… badass? If not, I must implore you to ditch it, no matter how well its years of built-up porterhouse patina have served you. You must buy one of these bawitdabarbecue Kid Rock grills. If you don’t, there’s a very good chance that Kid will make more Instagram videos like last week’s, and we can’t have that.
Mr. Rock, you see, has a certain genius for all things America: rocking out to cheap beer, supporting the troops, walking the country shirtless, and also making bucks selling some real Americana to real Americans. In this case, selling good ol’ U.S.-made charcoal grills with a finish that best resembles your favorite “Sons of Anarchy” character: flat and dark.
In order to convince you to drop $100 on this tank o’patriotism — $150, if you prefer gas — the prodigious author of such seminal American works as I Am The Bullgod and You Never Met A Motherfucker Quite Like Me has a secret weapon. Two secret weapons, actually.
You know what’s American? Catapulting foreign-made grills through the sky and shooting them down because they stink. If it’s not made in America like the Kid Rock American Badass grill, you don’t want it!
This is followed by Mr. K. Rock and his scattergun squeezing shots at a sad black grill launched across the sky like so much cheaply imported Walmart shlock. “This is what we think of ‘Made in China!’” Rock yells.
Does his skeet-skill match his sales-pitch enthusiasm? You be the judge:
Looks like CGI to me. But as long as the illusion’s made in America by Americans, it’s a good damn illusion.
The Trump administration is trying to assure Congress that it does not want to start a war with Iran, but some lawmakers who fought in Iraq are not so sure.
Acting Defense Secretary Patrick Shanahan and Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff Marine Gen. Joseph Dunford both briefed Congress on Tuesday about Iran. Shanahan told reporters earlier on Tuesday that the U.S. military buildup in the region has stopped Iran and its proxies from attacking U.S. forces, but the crisis is not yet over.
"We've put on hold the potential for attacks on Americans," Shanahan said. "That doesn't mean that the threats that we've previously identified have gone away. Our prudent response, I think, has given the Iranians time to recalculate. I think our response was a measure of our will and our resolve that we will protect our people and our interests in the region."
U.S. Navy/Mass Communication Specialist 1st Class Brian M. Wilbur/Handout via REUTERS
WASHINGTON (Reuters) - President Donald Trump warned on Monday Iran would be met with "great force" if it attacked U.S. interests in the Middle East, and government sources said Washington strongly suspects Shi'ite militias with ties to Tehran were behind a rocket attack in Baghdad's Green Zone.
"I think Iran would be making a very big mistake if they did anything," Trump told reporters as he left the White House on Monday evening for an event in Pennsylvania. "If they do something, it will be met with great force but we have no indication that they will."
After a year and a half since the Army took delivery on the first of its souped-up new version of the M1 Abrams main battle tank, the Pentagon's Joint Systems Manufacturing Center in Lima, Ohio is ramping up to deliver the service's first full brigade of upgraded warhorses to bring the pain downrange.
On Tuesday, two political veterans groups, one on the left, the other on the right, announced a new lobbying campaign aimed at ending America's 'forever wars.'
In a video tied to the announcement, Dan Caldwell, the senior adviser to Concerned Veterans for America, a conservative veterans' group, and Jon Soltz, the chairman of VoteVets, a liberal vets group which aims to get former service members into office, laid out their plan for a lobbying campaign aimed at changing policy on how the United States wages war.