Do you have an outdoor grill? Is it American? Is it… badass? If not, I must implore you to ditch it, no matter how well its years of built-up porterhouse patina have served you. You must buy one of these bawitdabarbecue Kid Rock grills. If you don’t, there’s a very good chance that Kid will make more Instagram videos like last week’s, and we can’t have that.
Mr. Rock, you see, has a certain genius for all things America: rocking out to cheap beer, supporting the troops, walking the country shirtless, and also making bucks selling some real Americana to real Americans. In this case, selling good ol’ U.S.-made charcoal grills with a finish that best resembles your favorite “Sons of Anarchy” character: flat and dark.
In order to convince you to drop $100 on this tank o’patriotism — $150, if you prefer gas — the prodigious author of such seminal American works as I Am The Bullgod and You Never Met A Motherfucker Quite Like Me has a secret weapon. Two secret weapons, actually.
You know what’s American? Catapulting foreign-made grills through the sky and shooting them down because they stink. If it’s not made in America like the Kid Rock American Badass grill, you don’t want it!
This is followed by Mr. K. Rock and his scattergun squeezing shots at a sad black grill launched across the sky like so much cheaply imported Walmart shlock. “This is what we think of ‘Made in China!’” Rock yells.
Does his skeet-skill match his sales-pitch enthusiasm? You be the judge:
Looks like CGI to me. But as long as the illusion’s made in America by Americans, it’s a good damn illusion.
WASHINGTON (Reuters) - The U.S. military on Sunday accused a Venezuelan fighter aircraft of "aggressively" shadowing a U.S. Navy EP-3 Aries II plane over international airspace, in yet another sign of the increasing hostility between the two nations.
The encounter between the U.S. and Venezuelan planes occurred on Friday, the same day that the Trump administration announced it was sanctioning four top officials in Venezuela's military counterintelligence agency.
In this March 12, 2016, file photo, Marines of the U.S., left, and South Korea, wearing blue headbands on their helmets, take positions after landing on a beach during the joint military combined amphibious exercise, called Ssangyong, part of the Key Resolve and Foal Eagle military exercises, in Pohang, South Korea. (Associated Press/Yonhap/Kim Jun-bum)
Joint U.S.-South Korean military exercises scheduled for next month are going ahead, a top Seoul official said Saturday, despite a threat by North Korea to boycott working-level talks with Washington and possibly restart nuclear and longer-range missile tests.
(Reuters) - A former National Security Agency contractor was sentenced in Maryland to nine years in prison on Friday for stealing huge amounts of classified material from U.S. intelligence agencies over two decades though officials never found proof he shared it with anyone.