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Flies are fucking obnoxious, and it’s not just that they buzz around your house and backyard like bloated shit-covered dirigibles. If you don’t squash them on the first swing with that rolled up newspaper, swatter, or your hand, you’re forced to chase the little bastard around until eventually it’s dead and you’re pissed off because you spent too long outwitted by a creature that looks at a pile of dogshit the way any red-blooded American looks at a steak. There is no greater fury in the world.
Hopefully, you’re not that inept at killing bugs, but if you are, there’s hope:
The Bug-A-Salt is a pump action salt-shotgun that delivers a dose of regular table salt to a fly (or whatever other insects you plan to down up to three feet away) at a damaging velocity. I received one from my father for my 31st birthday, because yes, I’m still a kid at heart, and trust me, it’s not just effective — it’s fun as hell.
Now, depending on the size of the fly, the first shot might not kill it outright — though it disintegrates mosquitoes and gnats — but it will wing the bugger, so you can follow up with that rolled up magazine, stomp on it, or just shoot it two or three more times once it’s on the ground. A friendly tip, though: the salt shotgun has an auto-safety, so you’ll have to switch it back to fire after every shot.
If you get the Bug-A-Salt 2.0, which is the one I have, it comes with a laser to make it a bit easier to drop your target, holds about 80 shots worth of table salt, and at $50 it makes a pretty fun novelty purchase. Plus, the clean up isn’t that bad since the bug remains more or less intact (minus a few legs and a wing or two left on the ground.) A word of caution though, don’t “test” it out by shooting your foot. It stings.
Enjoy, and happy hunting flies the American way: with total fire superiority.
Every once in a while, we run across a photo in The Times-Picayune archives that's so striking that it begs a simple question: "What in the name of Momus Alexander Morgus is going on in this New Orleans photograph?" When we do, we've decided, we're going to share it — and to attempt to answer that question.
Members of the Syrian Democratic Forces control the monitor of their drone at their advanced position, during the fighting with Islamic State's fighters in Nazlat Shahada, a district of Raqqa. (Reuters/Zohra Bensemra)
MUSCAT (Reuters) - The United States should keep arming and aiding the Kurdish-led Syrian Democratic Forces (SDF) following the planned U.S. withdrawal from Syria, provided the group keeps up the pressure on Islamic State, a senior U.S. general told Reuters on Friday.
Long before Tony Stark took a load of shrapnel to the chest in a distant war zone, science fiction legend Robert Heinlein gave America the most visceral description of powered armor for the warfighter of the future. Forget the spines of extra-lethal weaponry, the heads-up display, and even the augmented strength of an Iron Man suit — the real genius, Heinlein wrote in Starship Troopers, "is that you don't have to control the suit; you just wear it, like your clothes, like skin."
"Any sort of ship you have to learn to pilot; it takes a long time, a new full set of reflexes, a different and artificial way of thinking," explains Johnny Rico. "Spaceships are for acrobats who are also mathematicians. But a suit, you just wear."
First introduced in 2013, U.S. Special Operations Command's Tactical Assault Light Operator Suit (TALOS) purported to offer this capability as America's first stab at militarized powered armor. And while SOCOM initially promised a veritable Iron Man-style tactical armor by 2018, a Navy spokesman told Task & Purpose the much-hyped exoskeleton will likely never get off the launch pad.
"The prototype itself is not currently suitable for operation in a close combat environment," SOCOM spokesman Navy Lt. Phillip Chitty told Task & Purpose, adding that JATF-TALOS has no plans for an external demonstration this year. "There is still no intent to field the TALOS Mk 5 combat suit prototype."