Get Task & Purpose in your inbox
This Mancrate Got Me Drunk Before Noon On A Workday
If you’re a drinker, then you’re intimately familiar with hangovers, but if you’re a pro, then you also know the cure: hair of the dog.
No drink does it better than the Bloody Mary. A tomato and vodka-based cocktail, the Bloody Mary has gone through a bit of a renaissance in recent years. What used to be a sad and underwhelming mixed drink served in a plastic cup at the local dive bar and made with V8 and vodka has been transformed. These days, the Bloody Mary is an artisanal cocktail that tastes good, kills your hangover, and puts some food in your empty stomach.
To that end, the Bloody Mary Crate from Mancrates has everything you need to make a delicious morning cocktail. Mancrates is an online catalog geared toward guys who love the idea of prying open a wooden box with nothing more than a crowbar, some muscle, and a little leverage.
Delivered in a wooden crate with a small crowbar, this gift box will put hair on your chest in addition to giving you a nice buzz, though you’ll need to supply the booze. It’s easy to open, but if you need instructions on how to use a crowbar, they have some helpful advice on their site.
Inside the box, which comes in at $74.99, you’ll find a six-pack of clamato tomato juice; a host of ingredients from Demitri’s: pepperoni straws; horseradish, chili and peppers and classic seasoning; bacon rimshot, which is a fancy way of saying chili powder, salt, and bacon bits for the rim; and two plastic pilsner glasses.
For my Bloody Mary, I used Tito’s vodka and added a few kalamata olives. Personally, I prefer the classic seasoning, which adds a nice peppery aftertaste without being too spicey. The chilis and peppers mix is on the hotter side, so you’ll want to add a little to start, then adjust to fit your palate. The horseradish mix was saltier, but tastes great with the clamato, which is made with clam juice and already salty. One can of clamato, a double shot of vodka, and a quarter shot of seasoning poured over ice fills one of these pilsner glasses, with room left over for a slice of lime and a pepperoni straw.
After spending my weekend at the bottom of a Bloody Mary glass, or several, I realized a few things. First, I prefer Demitri’s classic seasoning over the other two, which override your tastebuds if you don’t mix it perfectly. Second, while clamato juice makes a good base, it’s a bit on the salty side and gives your Bloody Mary a briney flavor. If you’re not a fan of seafood, I suggest ditching the clamato for some cheap and bland Bloody Mary mix, which you can then spice up with one of the three seasoning sauces from the crate. Finally, it’s never a bad idea to fry up some bacon to toss in as a garnish, especially if you’re like me, and get a little uneasy slurping your drink through a meat straw, but still want food in your cocktail.
If nothing else, it’s worth buying the crate for the classic mix and the rimshot, which are excellent together and make every sip taste like a Southern-style breakfast — think hashbrowns, bacon, and Heinz 57. In any case, all three mixes and the crate’s fixings do their job of getting you drunk before noon really well. So, if you’re on the hunt for a Bloody Mary starter kit for the weekend, or Friday morning, look no further.
A word that could once not be mentioned in court — torture — was front and center on Friday as a military tribunal prepares to take on the long-delayed trial of Khalid Shaikh Mohammed, the confessed chief plotter of the 9/11 attacks, and four other defendants.
"I know torture's a dirty word," defense attorney Walter Ruiz told the tribunal. "I'll tell you what, judge, I'm not going to sanitize this for their concerns."
The suspect in the death of 21-year-old U.S. Marine Cpl. Tyler Wallingford, who was fatally shot in the barracks of the U.S. Marine Corps Air Station Beaufort more than nine months ago, was found guilty in military court of involuntary manslaughter earlier this month and sentenced to more than five years.
A 19-year-old Army private who died during basic training earlier this month was posthumously promoted to private first class, just before friends and family gathered for a memorial service to honor his life on Jan. 16.
The Veterans of Foreign Wars has demanded an apology from President Trump over recent comments in which he downplayed the seriousness of traumatic brain injuries suffered by American troops in an Iranian missile attack.
"The Veterans of Foreign Wars cannot stand idle on this matter," William "Doc" Schmitz, VFW National Commander, said in a statement Friday, noting TBI is a serious injury known to cause depression, memory loss, severe headaches and other symptoms in the short and long-term.