Ah, Valentine's Day, what a shitty time to be deployed.
Fortunately an enterprising adult website has a plan to help with those downrange woes and lonesome hours:
They're called "Camo Cards."(CamSoda)
On Tuesday, the webcam site CamSoda launched a special Valentine's Day promotion aimed at service members deployed overseas. Called Camo Cards — top marks on branding, by the way — it's an "online video greeting service" which lets users book and send service members personalized messages and shout outs from select adult film stars and other cam models.
Some of the adult performers participating include Sara Jay, Brandi Love, and Lisa Ann, according to the company.
It's also entirely free.
Yes, that's the promo: Ask a pornstar to send your deployed soldier a sexy video. And, if you really want to jazz up your loved-ones session at the crowded MWR on post you can "even make requests for outfit choice, amount of clothing worn and desired level of naughtiness."
Here's how Daryn Parker, the website's vice president, explains it:
"With the current unexpected deployment of our troops, we know that stress level of military personnel and their loved ones is at an all-time high," Parker said in a statement. "It's the perfect way to tell your significant other how you feel (and want to make them feel) – or to cheer up a single friend who could use some extra love."
Now, if you're reading this and it doesn't sound like it'll end terribly, then you can go ahead and sign up through this safe for work landing page, here. That said, CamSoda is a relatively well-known porn site, so it might be prudent to wait until you're not at work or in public to click that link, since their company name is pasted at the top of the page.