The Pentagon wants to show the world that service members are still getting their PT in despite gyms being closed across the country by releasing a new high energy video aptly named “Quarantine Fit.”
The video was first tweeted on Wednesday by Defense Secretary Mark Esper, who is famous for doing group PT with every unit he visits. (Although he told Task & Purpose that he prefers not to listen to music when he exercises.)
— Archive: Dr. Mark T. Esper (@EsperDoD) May 13, 2020
Hereafter referred to as “The Citizen Kane of Squats,” the video begins with a montage of news coverage showing that gyms have been closed across the country for the foreseeable future – or as the E-4 mafia would call it: paradise.
But you can almost hear sergeants major scream as one, “Not on my watch,” because viewers are then treated to service members finding creative ways to do push-ups, burpees, lunges, and other exercises at home or in other locales that look nothing like the sweat factories known as gyms.
“You gotta get out; you got to keep doing PT,” a clearly winded Sergeant Major of the Army Michael Grinston says whilst looking into the camera – shattering the fourth wall in a bold tribute to French New Wave cinema. “Just gotta keep social distancing.”
“Quarantine Fit” also shows service members being creative to get their reps in, including a couple of clips of service members holding children or dogs while exercising. While adorable, certain breeds of dogs are adverse to any form of exercise, most notably the Basset Hound.
The climax is a Coast Guardsmen pulling a pickup truck with what looks like a CGI Triceratops in the bed. It is unclear if the Defense Department has a program of record to clone dinosaurs from DNA, but who cares?
The film ends with Grinston, who is still breathing hard, advising troops to, “Stay fit; stay healthy.” Hopefully, he was able to get off his feet for a little bit when the camera stopped rolling.