As the heart of America's military-industrial complex, the Pentagon is among the most heavily-fortified office buildings on the planet. But no security system is a match for Scott Lang, the small-time criminal-turned Marvel superhero (played by Paul Rudd) whose electronics expertise and high-tech shrinking suit allow him to infiltrate bank vaults and secret bases with ease.
Luckily, it seems that Lang found a faster way into the center of America's military might by scooping sherbert at the Pentagon Baskin-Robbins — at least, that's the impression we get from the Google Maps photo for the DoD HQ's strategic ice cream repository.
Look it up yourself, and you'll find a picture of Rudd's five-o-clock-shadowed face from the 2015 film Ant-Man looking back at you:
Baskin-Robbins always finds out(Google Maps)
As first reported by Washingtonian's Elliot Williams, the photo was uploaded three years ago by a user under the name "Lloyd Christmas."
The image comes from an early scene in Ant-Man where our hero, fresh out of prison for breaking-and-entering, grand larceny, and other "cool crimes," gets a gig slinging scoops while he struggles to get back on his feet.
The Baskin-Robbins scene from 2015's 'Ant-Man'
Sadly, Lang is eventually fired from Baskin-Robbins in the movie because of his criminal record (and because Baskin-Robbins always finds out). Perhaps that's why the Pentagon location got only 3.5 out of five stars on Google Maps.
"I found a missile in my ice cream. will NOT be back," wrote a local guide named Quinn, who was one of 18 critics to publish their thoughts on the shop.
One ice cream critic used Google Translate to write "A good establishment, but the impression is spoiled by some tasteless pentagonal building in the neighborhood," in both English and Russian. Four stars.
The image of Paul Rudd/Scott Lang/Ant-Man isn't the only unusual photo gracing the Google Maps page of a Pentagon-based fast food chain. Click on the Panda Express there and you'll find a photo uploaded this month by user Bruh Bruhov of somebody holding what appears to be a dead fish over a flat wooden surface.
The Google Maps photo shenanigans continue at KFC, where several young men have left striking self-portraits over the past two years.
In our opinion, the award for most impressive gallery of Google Maps images at a fast food chain at the Pentagon goes to one of its Subway Restaurants locations. The portfolio there includes a Mr. Krabs in powered armor, and an image of "Communism Man" claiming that communism is good for weight loss.
"Are you SO bored that you're reading through Subway reviews at the Pentagon??," wrote McMc in a particularly portentous five-star review last year.
Yes, McMc. Yes I am.