Combat is dirty business. So is pooping. And when the two collide during times of war, you can bet your ass that the U.S. is ready for shit to hit the fan.
Need proof? Here’s a retro 1945 Marine Corps training video on “latrine procedures,” delightfully titled “Use Your Head,” featuring everyone’s favorite poor dumb bastard, Pvt. McGillicuddy, and the armed forces’ “7th Commandment” of health standards:
YouTube/U.S. Marine Corps
Once you get over the Bugs Bunny-esque style of the five-minute black-and-white cartoon, the advice is pretty straightforward: “Avoid contaminating any area which could result in dysentery for your entire unit.” Also ill-advised: setting up “your own private one-holer” somewhere in the woods; that’s a definite dysentery don’t.
Unfortunately, this video was shot produced during the closing months of World War II, which means there are some unsavory (read: fucking racist) elements throughout. The smiles evaporate a minute into the video when that stupid dope Pvt. McGillicuddy is advised to “keep a lookout for a Jap when you go to take a crap.”
Yes, sure, this PSA was produced in a different era when xenophobia ran high; even Superman, himself an illegal immigrant, suggested Americans “slap a Jap” at one point. But it gets obscene towards the end when Japanese military commanders realize that “making a bowel movement in the wrong location” is a major U.S. strategic weakness.
Christ, history’s a bummer. Watch the full thing below:
U.S. soldiers surveil the area during a combined joint patrol in Manbij, Syria, November 1, 2018. Picture taken November 1, 2018. (U.S. Army/Zoe Garbarino/Handout via Reuters)
WASHINGTON (Reuters) - The United States will leave "a small peacekeeping group" of 200 American troops in Syria for a period of time after a U.S. pullout, the White House said on Thursday, as President Donald Trump pulled back from a complete withdrawal.
Construction crews staged material needed for the Santa Teresa Border Wall Replacement project near the Santa Teresa Port of Entry. (U.S. Customs and Border Patrol/Mani Albrecht)
With a legal fight challenge mounting from state governments over the Trump administration's use of a national emergency to construct at the U.S.-Mexico border, the president has kicked his push for the barrier into high gear.
On Wednesday, President Trump tweeted a time-lapse video of wall construction in New Mexico; the next day, he proclaimed that "THE WALL IS UNDER CONSTRUCTION RIGHT NOW"
But there's a big problem: The footage, which was filmed more than five months ago on Sep. 18, 2018, isn't really new wall construction at all, and certainly not part of the ongoing construction of "the wall" that Trump has been haggling with Congress over.
(From left to right) Chris Osman, Chris McKinley, Kent Kroeker, and Talon Burton
A group comprised of former U.S. military veterans and security contractors who were detained in Haiti on weapons charges has been brought back to the United States and arrested upon landing, The Miami-Herald reported.
The men — five Americans, two Serbs, and one Haitian — were stopped at a Port-au-Prince police checkpoint on Sunday while riding in two vehicles without license plates, according to police. When questioned, the heavily-armed men allegedly told police they were on a "government mission" before being taken into custody.
Army Sgt. Jeremy Seals died on Oct. 31, 2018, following a protracted battle with stomach cancer. His widow, Cheryl Seals is mounting a lawsuit alleging that military care providers missed her husband's cancer. Task & Purpose photo illustration by Aaron Provost
The widow of a soldier whose stomach cancer was allegedly overlooked by Army doctors for four years is mounting a medical malpractice lawsuit against the military, but due to a decades-old legal rule known as the Feres Doctrine, her case will likely be dismissed before it ever goes to trial.
The first grenade core was accidentally discovered on Nov. 28, 2018, by Virginia Department of Historic Resources staff examining relics recovered from the Betsy, a British ship scuttled during the last major battle of the Revolutionary War. The grenade's iron jacket had dissolved, but its core of black powder remained potent. Within a month or so, more than two dozen were found. (Virginia Department of Historic Resources via The Virginian-Pilot)
In an uh-oh episode of historic proportions, hand grenades from the last major battle of the Revolutionary War recently and repeatedly scrambled bomb squads in Virginia's capital city.
Wait – they had hand grenades in the Revolutionary War? Indeed. Hollow iron balls, filled with black powder, outfitted with a fuse, then lit and thrown.
And more than two dozen have been sitting in cardboard boxes at the Department of Historic Resources, undetected for 30 years.