So you’re riding along in the back of a Uber at the end of a long day of heavy drinking, but your driver tells you there’s a problem and he needs to pull over for a moment to restart the transaction on his cellphone.
Naturally, your response is to reach past the center console, put him into a chokehold while he’s driving 65 miles per hour. Then once the driver makes an abrupt stop, you release him and then exit the car. At which point, you run off into the woods, pass out, and get arrested the next morning as you try to flag down drivers on the interstate for a ride.
At least, that was the response of Maxwell Sweeney, a Marine stationed at Fort Lee, Virginia, in late April last year after a day of getting utterly trashed, because why the fuck not?
According to the Richmond Times Dispatch, it all started when Sweeney and a friend, who was not involved in the attack, were in the back of an Uber on April 24, 2016, and they asked to be driven to another destination. When their driver Rene Ernesto Sanchez Espinozo went to update Uber, it didn’t go through because someone else was paying for the fare and declined the new charges.
That’s when Espinozo told Sweeney and his friend he’d have to pull over and they’d need to start a new transaction. Then, all hell broke loose as Sweeney attacked him while they were cruising along the road.
When Sweeney was arrested the next morning, he told the police that he couldn’t recall “anything” after roughly 3:30 p.m. the day before.
If this story doesn’t sound bizarre enough already, there’s more to it.
Sweeney managed to dodge a felony record and jail time when a judge convicted Sweeney of misdemeanor assault and misdemeanor vandalism, reports the Richmond Times Dispatch. Since the Marine Corps had already kicked Sweeney out with an other-than-honorable discharge, the judge likened that to a felony conviction, and went for the lesser criminal punishment. Instead of jail time, Sweeney may face probation. He was also ordered to cough up $2,246 in restitution to the driver, who was a former police officer and bodyguard.
Considering how hard the book normally gets thrown at Marines for any infraction — from serious shit like driving drunk or assault to significantly less severe infractions like drinking underage — it’s a bit nuts that this played out the way it did.
I’m trying to imagine the deluge of profanity that came pouring out of Sweeney’s first sergeant’s mouth when he read the blotter the day after, but in reality, his reaction was probably more like this.
Benjamin Franklin nailed it when he said, "Fatigue is the best pillow." True story, Benny. There's nothing like pushing your body so far past exhaustion that you'd willingly, even longingly, take a nap on a concrete slab.
U.S. Coast Guard Petty Officer 2nd Class Karl Munson pilots a 26-foot boat while Petty Officer 2nd Class Gabriel Diaz keeps an eye on a boarding team who is inspecting a 79-foot shrimp boat in the Gulf of Mexico, off the coast of New Orleans, La., on April 27, 2005
Radio transmissions to the U.S. Coast Guard are usually calls for help from boaters, but one captain got on the radio recently just to say thanks to the men and women who are currently working without pay.
DOVER AIR FORCE BASE, Del (Reuters) - U.S. President Donald Trump traveled to Dover Air Force Base in Delaware on Saturday to receive the remains of four Americans killed in a suicide bombing in northern Syria.
Trump, locked in a battle with congressional Democrats that has led to a nearly month-long partial government shutdown, announced his trip via a pre-dawn tweet, saying he was going "to be with the families of 4 very special people who lost their lives in service to our Country!"
Former President George W. Bush is calling for an end to the partial government shutdown, which is about to hit the one-month mark and is currently the longest shutdown in US history.
In an appeal made on Instagram, the 43rd president called on "leaders on both sides to put politics aside, come together, and end this shutdown." The caption was posted with an image of him and former First Lady Laura Bush giving pizza to their Secret Service detail.