This May Be The Worst Military-Themed Humor Video Ever Made

Humor

Fusion is a TV network and website aimed at millennials. It’s also the creator of the most godawful military-themed video we’ve ever seen. And we’ve seen plenty.


Is the video mocking the military for being too “woke” — by allowing troops religious accommodations — or too conservative, by being too white? Either way, it’s bad. Flagrantly bad. If a worse video exists anywhere on the internet, please let us know.

Or at least that’s what I thought until I watched it again, and then again, and the subtleties of Fusion’s critique began to seep into my mind and take hold. Now I see. Now I understand.

Thanks, Fusion, for showing me the light. How did I ever do something as silly as serve in the U.S. armed forces? I'm so humiliated by this video and by how naive I was to think I could make a difference in the world by serving my country during a time of war. The college education I earned, debt free, it came at a price I was unaware of until I watched your one minute video. The job training I received, what good was that for? All I get to do is write sarcastic blog posts about videos on the internet. Oh, wait. Yeah, maybe it did pay off.

On that note, here’s a message to Fusion’s “comedy” team from a few horrified veterans: When you’re aiming at a target, try not to shoot yourself in the foot.

(U.S. Army)

A soldier who died in Camp Buehring, Kuwait, from a non-combat related incident on July 18 was identified by the Pentagon as Sgt. William Friese, a West Virginia Army National Guard soldier assigned to the 821st Engineer Company, 1092nd Engineer Battalion, 111th Engineer Brigade.

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(U.S. Air Force/Airman 1st Class Aspen Reid)

Navy Airman Uriel Gerardo-Olivas wanted to hire a hitman to murder another sailor he says had threatened his life and the lives of his girlfriend and baby.

But, he had a problem.

He didn't have the money.

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U.S. Navy photo by Mass Communication Specialist 2nd Class Matt Herbst.

Search and rescue efforts have ended without locating a sailor from the aircraft carrier USS Abraham Lincoln, who was reported overboard on Wednesday, Navy officials have announced.

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ISIS

An American citizen who allegedly served as a sniper for ISIS and became a leader for the terrorist group is expected to appear in federal court on Friday after being returned to the United States by the Defense Department, officials said.

Ruslan Maratovich Asainov, who was born in Kazakhstan and became a naturalized U.S. citizen, is charged with providing and attempting to provide material support to ISIS, the Justice Department announced on Friday.

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Members of the Iranian revolutionary guard march during a parade to commemorate the anniversary of the Iran-Iraq war (1980-88), in Tehran September 22, 2011. (Reuters photo)

LONDON/DUBAI (Reuters) - Iran's Revolutionary Guards said on Friday they had captured a British-flagged oil tanker in the Gulf after Britain seized an Iranian vessel earlier this month, further raising tensions along a vital international oil shipping route.

Britain said it was urgently seeking information about the Stena Impero after the tanker, which had been heading to a port in Saudi Arabia, suddenly changed course after passing through the Strait of Hormuz at the mouth of the Gulf.

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