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After a strategic data dump by the attorney for porn actress Stormy Daniels on Wednesday, the world learned that Michael Cohen, President Donald Trump’s longtime personal attorney, collected millions in “consulting” fees from major U.S. and overseas corporations with business interest before the U.S. government, as well as a subsidiary of a Vladimir Putin-connected Russian company, in 2017 and 2018 — and he collected it all in the same dummy account he’d set up just before the 2016 election to pay off Daniels and other women who have alleged extramarital affairs with the commander-in-chief.

We also learned there’s a national security angle to the revelations. Buckle up, you’re in for quite a ride:

Still, anyone with a working moral compass and a modicum of foresight probably wouldn’t put any money into a secret shell company run by the president’s weird personal attorney and taxicab baron, who also happens to be a deputy chairman of the Republican Party’s finance committee and part of the permanent cast of The Real World: Russian Campaign Collusion. Right?

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