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Finally, A Fancy (And Compact) MRE For The Grunt Who Prefers Only The Finest Vacuum-Sealed Rations
The Tetris-style packing prowess of the American infantryman is unparalleled, enabling a grunt to cram weeks’ worth of supplies into a single pack before stepping off on an op.
The Department of Defense is trying to make that process a little bit easier with the fanciest MRE we’ve ever seen.
According to Military.com’s Matthew Cox, the military plans to begin field-testing the new Close Combat Assault Ration by 2020. The ration weighs about 1.5 pounds and takes up three quarters less space in a service member’s pack. And while the end goal is to get the new ration in troops’ hands by 2023, but the assault ration won’t replace existing MREs across the board.
Say what you will about the presentation, but that's a lot of food in a tiny package.U.S. Army photo by Gary Sheftick
A sample menu for the ration includes the following, according to a May 25 Army press release:
- Tart cherry nut bar.
- Cheddar cheese bar.
- Mocha dessert bar.
- Vacuum-dried strawberries.
- Trail mix.
- Korean barbeque stir fry packet.
- Four teeny tiny spinach quiches.
- Six little pieces of French toast.
- And a banana that was “vacuum microwave dried” so it’s now about a third of its original size.
Each individual item is perfect for those deliberately-posed food shots that rule Instagram, so just throw down a poncho liner, carefully arrange some of those mini quiches, toss in a few 5.56 mm rounds down, and voilà: you're a frontline foodie.
Still in its prototype phase, the vacuum microwave drying process used to package each ration is designed to shrink each portion to roughly half its size. Sure, that doesn’t sound appetizing, but be real: when’s the last time your mouth watered over the words “shaped BBQ pork patty?”
With the assault ration, troops headed out on a lengthy mission can forgo ratfucking a dozen MREs, a process that normally involves pilfering an MRE box and keeping only the entrees you have room for Instead, Military.com notes that a service member can take half the number of assault rations and still get up to 3,000 calories a day. Though, maybe go easy on the snacks — if not for your waistline, do it for your colon.
There’s one crucial thing missing from original Army press release on the new assault rations: the inclusion of napkins, an essential substitute for toilet paper in the field. This could be by design, though. Just think about that menu list for a moment: cheddar cheese bar, mini quiches; french toast — there’s no way you’re dropping a deuce any time soon after eating all that.
At least 4 American veterans among group arrested in Haiti with arsenal of weapons and tactical gear
At least four American veterans were among a group of eight men arrested by police in Haiti earlier this week for driving without license plates and possessing an arsenal of weaponry and tactical gear.
Police in Port-au-Prince arrested five Americans, two Serbians, and one Haitian man at a police checkpoint on Sunday, according to The Miami-Herald. The men told police they were on a "government mission" but did not specify for which government, according to The Herald.
They also told police that "their boss was going to call their boss," implying that someone high in Haiti's government would vouch for them and secure their release, Herald reporter Jacqueline Charles told NPR.
What they were actually doing or who they were potentially working for remains unclear. A State Department spokesperson told Task & Purpose they were aware that Haitian police arrested a "group of individuals, including some U.S. citizens," but declined to answer whether the men were employed by or operating under contract with the U.S. government.
Have you ever wondered what would happen if the employee behind a firearm company's Facebook page decided to goaded a bunch of Marines into destroying their brand new firearms? Now you know.
A top Senate Republican and fierce ally of President Donald Trump reportedly exploded at Acting Defense Secretary Patrick Shanahan recently about the U.S. military's plans to withdraw all troops from Syria by the end of April.
"That's the dumbest f******g idea I've ever heard," Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.) reportedly replied when Shanahan confirmed the Trump administration still plans to complete the Syria withdrawal by April 30.
Later, Graham told Shanahan, "I am now your adversary, not your friend."
If you are in the market for any size of military surplus vehicle, keep an eye on GovPlanet. The online auction house is about to start selling U.S. Navy and Marine Corps surplus M1161 ITV Growlers and seven-ton Medium Tactical Vehicle Replacement trucks.
The White House will keep challenging the Pentagon on the threat of climate change until it gets an answer it likes
The definition of insanity, the old saying goes, is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result — a definition that applies perfectly to the Trump administration's response to the looming national security threat of global climate change.