“With long, repeated separations between military husbands and wives, extramarital affairs become the norm for many couples,” according to Diana Falzone, a advice columnist and FOX news contributor.  Really?  My first question is where did she find the data to support such a claim that extramarital affairs are the “norm” for many military couples.  Our good friends over at Blue Star Families are currently conducting one of the most respected and widely-utilized surveys regarding the military family community and I don’t remember any questions regarding infidelity?  Where did Ms. Falzone find her facts to make such a statement?

Falzone continues with, “Most civilian women would not defend their husband’s infidelity.  But for the military wife, cheating practically comes with the territory. And rather than ignore the lusty elephant in the room, some military couples have created their own defense against infidelity: the so-called deployment sex pact.”  I actually had to read the words “sex pact” twice because I thought she meant, “six pack!”. That is all I have ever tried to “get” when my husband is deployed.   During my 16 years as a Navy spouse, I have never heard of a “sex pact”, which doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. However, for her to draw the conclusion that “cheating practically comes with the territory” is a gross and naive statement about the military community.  Ms. Falzone is a civilian writing an advice column for and making statements that are not supported by any factual proof.  Her  over-generalizations and stereotypes are exactly what the military community constantly has to battle and defend.  I am always amazed at how the media utilizes someone who has not served in the military and/or a military spouse to give advice regarding the military lifestyle.  Is this what society thinks about the military lifestyle?  Maybe, but it’s not what so many of us inside the military community know.

“After 10 years in the Marine Corps and multiple deployments, I have never heard of a ‘deployment pact’.  Any incidents of infidelity that I’ve heard of were devastating for the parties involved.  This article does not reflect what I’ve seen.”

-anonymous Marine Corps officer in reaction to the article on

There is a lot of “advice” and “information” on the web, but you have to check the credentials of the sources. Anyone can publish anything online, but that doesn’t make it true. Ms. Falzone is a well-educated woman, but she lacks the experience of serving in the military nor a military spouse.
Although I do not write an advice column for MilitaryOneClick, if I did, my advice would be; “Sometimes it’s better to keep your opinions to yourself.”

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