How to Find Your Partner’s Love Language
If you aren’t familiar with the term “love language,” it’s a theory that groups personalities into five different categories. Showing...
If you aren’t familiar with the term “love language,” it’s a theory that groups personalities into five different categories. Showing that different people love in different ways, some with words, some with gifts, etc. It was made famous by pastor and writer Gary Chapman’s 1992 book, The Five Love Languages.
The five love languages include:
- Words of Affirmation
- Quality Time
- Receiving Gifts
- Acts of Service
- Physical Touch
The point is, that by finding out your partner’s love language — as well as your own — you can love them in a way that’s more meaningful to them. Sure it might mean a lot to you to say nice things or offer a hug — but is that what speaks to your spouse? Find out what love language they speak and you can make more of your time together by speaking to them in the way they find most powerful.
Take the Quiz
One of the most obvious ways to find a love language is to take the quiz. You can read Chapman’s book for the full effect. But to get the gist of it, you can take a quick online quiz. You and your partner can each answer a few questions and get a rundown of your top love language, as well as any smaller percentages of other categories. For instance, you might be 50% Acts of Service, 25% Quality Time, and 25% Receiving Gifts. This means that while one category feels the strongest for you, there are other areas that are important to you as a person.
Figure it Out Together
Another way to determine your love language is to figure it out the old-fashioned way. What types of things do you appreciate most from your partner? What do they do that you enjoy? What categories do these acts fall into? Go back and forth with your partner to find each other’s love language. You can do this all at once, or spread it out over time. Get each other gifts, hold hands, say positive things to one another — and find out which has been the most impactful.
Use Common Sense
You can also go with your gut here. After all, this is your spouse, you know them best. What speaks to them most vividly? What forms of affection hold little weight? Use this path in order to consciously determine how you should best reach them in a way that’s meaningful to them.
Loving your partner in their own love language is a way to show them you care, simply by understanding them deeply. Ensure you have a solid understanding of how to reach them at their core. And don’t be afraid to expect the same from your partner. They should learn and know how to reach you in a way that matters most.
Be sure to spend the time on understanding love languages and how you can speak to one another in a way that is most meaningful.
How do you and your partner incorporate love languages into your daily routine? Tell us below.