Navy SEAL Shares Most Terrifying And Hilarious Moment Of His Career

Humor
YouTube screenshot

Navy SEALs love telling war stories, and to be fair, they’re pretty great at it. The latest comes from Andy Stumpf, a 17-year Navy SEAL veteran and jumpmaster who is the world record holder for longest distance traversed in a wingsuit (18 miles?!).


This past week, Stumpf joined comedian Bryan Callen and UFC Heavyweight fighter Brendan Schaub on their podcast, “The Fighter and the Kid,” to talk about being in the military and jumping out of planes.

And he graced us with an amazing story of secret SEAL operations in an unnamed foreign land that Stumpf calls “a galaxy far, far away.” (It sounds an awful lot like Af-Pak, but what do I know?)

Let’s set the scene: Stumpf and his team of Navy SEALs have to insert themselves … somewhere … undetected. So they decide to jump at high altitude and glide to their target under open canopies under the cover of night.

For this mission, they have a local interpreter with them. It turns out that it’s not just his first time jumping out of an airplane; it’s his first time in an airplane.

As a jumpmaster, Stumpf is given the task of tandem jumping with the interpreter, and the jump has to be executed perfectly. Because the special operators are going to be gliding under canopy, they have to jump out of the airplane in quick succession. Otherwise, there will be too much distance between the jumpers. But when it comes time for Stumpf and the interpreter to jump, the interpreter has second thoughts, and “starts clawing like a cat that’s wet to get a hold of the side of the aircraft.”

Stumpf eventually gets the man out of the plane, but they’re flipping and falling through the air, and by the time Stumpf gets the parachute open, they’re a distance away from the rest of the team. Worse yet, Stumpf’s navigation and communication equipment got jammed between him and his interpreter friend. He has no idea where he is.

What follows is an incredible story of Stumpf trying to navigate this parachute (he eventually gets the GPS back, but it factory resets and says he’s over Hong Kong), the interpreter freaking out and trying to climb up the cords of the parachute, and Stumpf having to knock the man out so he can stay alive.

And then there’s the vomit.

The whole story is a little long, but Stumpf is quite the wordsmith, and it unfolds beautifully.

Give it a watch below, the story starts at 36 minutes in.

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Known for acting on impulse, President Donald Trump has adopted an uncharacteristically go-slow approach to whether to hold Iran responsible for attacks on Saudi oil facilities, showing little enthusiasm for confrontation as he seeks re-election next year.

After state-owned Saudi Aramco's plants were struck on Saturday, Trump didn't wait long to fire off a tweet that the United States was "locked and loaded" to respond, and Secretary of State Mike Pompeo blamed Iran.

But four days later, Trump has no timetable for action. Instead, he wants to wait and see the results of investigations into what happened and is sending Pompeo to consult counterparts in Saudi Arabia and the United Arab Emirates this week.

Read More Show Less

That sound you're hearing is Army senior leaders exhaling a sigh of relief, because the Army has surpassed its recruiting goal for the year.

After failing to meet recruiting goals in 2018, the Army put the pedal to the metal and "did some soul searching," said Acting Army Secretary Ryan McCarthy, to ensure that they'd meet their 2019 goal. It must have paid off — the service announced on Tuesday that more than 68,000 recruits have signed on as active-duty soldiers, and more soldiers have stuck around than they expected.

Read More Show Less

Air Force Chief of Staff Gen. David Goldfein transformed into the Cigarette Smoking Man from "The X-Files" on Tuesday when explaining why UFO enthusiasts should avoid storming the mythical Area 51 installation in Nevada.

"All joking aside, we're taking it very seriously," Goldfein told reporters during the Air Force Association's annual Air, Space, and Cyber Conference. "Our nation has secrets, and those secrets deserve to be protected. The people deserve to have our nation's secrets protected."

Read More Show Less
Paul Szoldra/Task & Purpose

SAN DIEGO — A San Diego-based Navy SEAL acquitted of murder in a closely watched war crimes trial this summer has filed a lawsuit against two of his former attorneys and a military legal defense nonprofit, according to a complaint filed in federal court in Texas on Friday.

Read More Show Less

NATIONAL HARBOR, Maryland — The Air Force is reviewing whether some airmen's valor awards deserve to be upgraded to the Medal of Honor, Chief of Staff Gen. David Goldfein said on Tuesday.

Goldfein revealed that several airmen are being considered for the nation's highest military award during a press conference at the Air Force Association's annual Air, Space, and Cyber Conference. He declined to say exactly who could receive the Medal of Honor, pending the outcome of the review process.

Read More Show Less