No Sky Dong Over Ramstein, Air Force Tells T&P About Phallic-Looking Contrails

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Pictures posted on Facebook do not show a sky penis over Ramstein.
Photo courtesy of the unofficial Air Force amn/nco/snco Facebook page.

Do not look for the sky penis. That is impossible. Instead, only try to realize the truth: There is no sky penis.


On April 27, the unofficial Air Force amn/nco/snco Facebook page posted an image of contrail loops over Ramstein Air Base in Germany that looked as if a military aircraft had drawn a gigantic “Schwanz” in the sky.

But a spokeswoman for the 52nd Fighter Wing told Task & Purpose on Monday that none if its aircraft flew abnormal patterns over Ramstein on the day the pictures were taken.

“The pilots conducted their normal flight patterns, which are based on planned tactics frequently involving circles and straight lines,” Air Force Capt. Andrea Valencia said in an email. “The weather permitted those contrails to be visible from the ground and simply showed the patterns that our pilots do on a day to day basis. The contrails were not intended to signal anything to anyone on the ground, the pattern and multitude was not an intentional act.”

Two Navy aviators were disciplined after they used their EA-18G Growler to draw a sky penis over Washington state in November. Those hoping to catch a glimpse of a massive dong in the heavens will have to keep watching the skies.

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