Philippine President Rodrigo Duterte hates many things. Drugs. Gambling. God. Now we can add the global scourge of Canada to his hit list.
The perennially furious strongman on Tuesday threatened to go to war against Canada over 103 container vans containing some 2,450 tons of "plastic scrap metal" illegally shipped to the Philippines by Canadian-based firm Chronic Plastics between 2013 and 2014, CNN Philippines reports.
"For Canada's garbage, I want a boat prepared. They better pull that thing out, or I will set sail to Canada and dump their garbage there," Duterte said during a Tuesday briefing. "Let's fight Canada. We'll declare war against them, we can handle them anyway."
"Garbage is coming home. The others, around five trucks, dump it in front of the Canadian embassy. The world runs on arrogance."
President Rodrigo Duterte speaks after his arrival, from a visit in Israel and Jordan at Davao International airport in Davao City in southern Philippines, September 8, 2018.
(Reuters/Lean Daval Jr)
We'll let Duterte's sound and fury speak for itself, but it's worth noting that it took longer for the Task & Purpose team to come up with the right headline for this article than it took to write the article itself. So, in the interest of transparency, here is a list of headlines that didn't quite work:
The president of the Philippines says he's going to declare war on Canada if they don't pick up their trash
Trash talking Philippine dictator threatens war with Canada if they don't take out the garbage
Neat freak Philippine strong man threatens to declare war on Canada if they don't reclaim their refuse
The president of the Philippines channeled his inner a-hole 1st Sgt. by threatening war because someone didn't pick up trash
Philippine strongman threatening Canada with war over garbage proves 2019 is a raging dumpster fire
Philippine president vows to go Tony Soprano on Canada over friggin' garbage
Duterte tells Canada to take out the papers and the trash, or they won't get no spending cash
Philippines' Duterte to Canada: Get off your lazy ass and take out the trash cans
'I want this place looking like Disney on Ice in FIVE MINUTES!' Philippines' Duterte yells at Canada
Cleanliness is next to godliness, Philippines claims on eve of war with Canada
Duterte threatens to banish Canada to ash heap of history
Philippines' Duterte to Canada: take back this garbage or you're fucking dead
Army researchers have devised a method to produce ceramic body armor, lightweight but strong, from a 3D printer. Except that 3D printers are meant to print out knickknacks, not flak jackets — which meant that engineers had to hack into the printer to get the job done.
There are #squadgoals, and then there are squad goals — and only one of them includes a potential future accompanied by autonomous murderbots.
Hot on the heels of the Marine Corps's head-to-toe overhaul of infantry rifle squads, a handful of grunts at the Air Ground Combat Center at Twentynine Palms, California recently conducted field testing alongside a handful of autonomous robots engineered by the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency's (DARPA) Squad X Experimentation program.
An otherwise sleepy confirmation hearing for Defense Secretary nominee Mark Esper was jolted from its legislative stupor after Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-Mass.) grilled the former Raytheon lobbyist on ethical issues regarding his involvement with his former employer.