The most realistic toy about Army life ever made is this set with a soldier bored as hell in the barracks

Mandatory Fun
Click N' Play

If you've ever caught yourself wondering aloud (or more than likely, bitching to your friend, partner, or your spouse who absolutely does not care) about how military games and toys aren't realistic, then you're in luck!

Click N'Play is here to ensure 100% accuracy for those with a military action figure fetish thanks in large part to its "Military Camp Bunk House Life" action figure, which Miranda Summers Lowe surfaced on Twitter earlier this month.


According to a (very) detailed description of the product, Click N' Play's "military action packed pretend play set" is made of "super strong, superior quality BPA free plastic material" with "authentic" and "highly detailed design with uniforms & accessories."

Most importantly, the 12-inch tall figurine is pose-able and has 30 "articulated joint points" so you can act out all your barracks life fantasies! Hooah!

Click N' Play

For just $49.99 on Amazon, you can play enlisted life in the barracks! Live out your wildest dreams of getting swole in the barracks; learning guitar in the barracks; wearing flip flops in the barracks; and staring off into the distance with sad, dead eyes ... in the barracks!

Click N' Play

So, if you're looking to recreate a weekly field day inspection — because who doesn't look back on those fondly — the set comes with a bunk bed, a locker, a closet, backpack, a guitar, weights, clothes, and hangars (don't forget to keep them two action-figure finger-widths apart), and plenty of other items you're sure to lose and have to pay for out of pocket.

With so many essentials, the possibilities are endless! Set up your Joe for an early-morning run; a trip to the head to wash his nasty body and shave off that out of regs face scruff; or get him in the uniform of the day and haze the ever-loving shit out of that idiot boot for misplacing his gear!

Click N' Play

The only way this figure could be more realistic is if Click N' Play put out an expansion pack with porn magazines, a log of Copenhagen long cut, and a dozen water bottles — two of which would be filled with urine, and a third half-full of dip spit.


Click N' Play

If barracks life isn't what you're looking for, then how about manning a radio while you stand an eight hour shift on post in a flimsy guard tower?


Click N' Play

Click N' Play's Military Lookout Watch Tower comes jam-packed with gear, from ammo cans, a radio, a Mk19 that's totally not going to jam on you, and an oil barrel. (If you're wondering where the wagbags are, see "ammo can.")

DISCLAIMER: CAR/CIB/CAB not included with purchase of Click N' Play's military toys.

SEE ALSO: The Lego SR-71: Because Being A Grown Up Is For Suckers And Spy Planes Are Awesome

WATCH NEXT: Jack Mandaville's Guide To Vetsplaining

he amphibious assault ship USS Makin Island (LHD 8) returns to homeport at Naval Base San Diego on February 25, 2015. (U.S. Navy/ Mass Communication Specialist 1st Class Corwin Colbert)

SAN DIEGO, Calif. — A former U.S. Navy sailor was sentenced to 20 years in prison Monday for having sexual contact with a 14-year-old Oceanside girl in 2017, federal prosecutors in San Diego said in a statement.

Read More Show Less

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Known for acting on impulse, President Donald Trump has adopted an uncharacteristically go-slow approach to whether to hold Iran responsible for attacks on Saudi oil facilities, showing little enthusiasm for confrontation as he seeks re-election next year.

After state-owned Saudi Aramco's plants were struck on Saturday, Trump didn't wait long to fire off a tweet that the United States was "locked and loaded" to respond, and Secretary of State Mike Pompeo blamed Iran.

But four days later, Trump has no timetable for action. Instead, he wants to wait and see the results of investigations into what happened and is sending Pompeo to consult counterparts in Saudi Arabia and the United Arab Emirates this week.

Read More Show Less

That sound you're hearing is Army senior leaders exhaling a sigh of relief, because the Army has surpassed its recruiting goal for the year.

After failing to meet recruiting goals in 2018, the Army put the pedal to the metal and "did some soul searching," said Acting Army Secretary Ryan McCarthy, to ensure that they'd meet their 2019 goal. It must have paid off — the service announced on Tuesday that more than 68,000 recruits have signed on as active-duty soldiers, and more soldiers have stuck around than they expected.

Read More Show Less

Air Force Chief of Staff Gen. David Goldfein transformed into the Cigarette Smoking Man from "The X-Files" on Tuesday when explaining why UFO enthusiasts should avoid storming the mythical Area 51 installation in Nevada.

"All joking aside, we're taking it very seriously," Goldfein told reporters during the Air Force Association's annual Air, Space, and Cyber Conference. "Our nation has secrets, and those secrets deserve to be protected. The people deserve to have our nation's secrets protected."

Read More Show Less
Paul Szoldra/Task & Purpose

SAN DIEGO — A San Diego-based Navy SEAL acquitted of murder in a closely watched war crimes trial this summer has filed a lawsuit against two of his former attorneys and a military legal defense nonprofit, according to a complaint filed in federal court in Texas on Friday.

Read More Show Less