You’ve probably learned by now that the world doesn’t owe you anything: It’s indifferent to your preferences and plans. It’s hard and unwelcoming. But you’ve definitely learned that, with the right kind of energy and ingenuity, the big harsh world can bend to your will just a little — and sometimes, that “just a little” is enough to make things work.
“Life hacking,” they call it. In the service, it was jerry-rigging or comshawing or MacGyvering or Semper Gumbying; it was just what you did to get the job done.
Now, consider the Rip It can: a piece of gear as versatile and flexible as your trusty E-tool, as long as you’re willing to let the drink unlock your creative justices. How many ways can that little can of liquid industriousness save your butt from a bind? We compiled nine hacks here that just about anyone can replicate — hippies and hardcore hooyahs alike.
And you thought Rip It was just a DFAC treat.
Here are nine ways you can bend the world to your will with that energy-drink can:
1. Emergency power source
They don’t call ‘em energy drinks for nothing. But your body isn’t the only thing that needs juicing. If you find yourself up shit creek without a battery, that creek — and your Rip It can, and some salt and copper wiring — will provide.
2. Fire starter
If you served, you probably like an occasional Rip It and know how to shine shoes. Which means you can probably also set anything on fire with this easy hack: Use the the bottom of your Rip It can — that concave divot — to concentrate sunlight on some tinder. But first, you need to make that can’s bottom mirror-smooth to focus that radiation. How? Easy. Rub in some chocolate with that same polishing technique that makes your dress shoes sparkle. I shit you not.
No chocolate around? It’s cool; toothpaste and cleaners can also work. It’s all in the motion.
3. Fish hook
Admit it: You wish you’d thought of this first:
For those days when there’s nothing to do but take the seven cans in your cargo pockets over to the palace moat to look at a now-dead dictator’s massive carp collection. Teach a man to fish, and he will show you proudly how he fishes. Oh yeah, he’ll eat, too.
4. WiFi booster
Not every life-changing hack happens outdoors. If your device’s wifi reception sucks, wake it up with a Rip It, son.
5. Field stove
Lost in the woods? Jonesing for some char on that lizard you just killed for life-sustaining nutrition? If you’ve got a Rip It can, you’re never more than ten minutes and a multitool away from a hot meal:
If you’ve got a few minutes more, you can make an even sexier field stove. And yes, even in the field, style points matter.
6. Herb garden
Have you been neglecting your domestic duties? Get back on your partner’s good side with fresh herbs, compliments of that Citrus X can you just drained in front of the fridge. It’s got what plants crave!
7. Emergency whistle
Whether you need attention in a low-visibility area or you’re just looking for new ways to annoy a coworker, there’s great loud-whistle power in the aluminum walls of your sweet energy nectar’s house.
8. Field vehicle repairs
Look, after you read this submission from an assault vehicle mechanic in the field in 2013, you’re gonna wanna keep a pallet of Rip Its in your car or truck:
While conducting routine water ops one of the cylindrical engine baffles on my vehicle cracked and was leaking exhaust into the troop compartment. For reasons that to this day remain unknown to me, my maintenance chief had a stash of rip it on our track so I decided to chug one and then use the can to stop the leak. After I finished the delicious poison I cut off the top and bottom and wrapped the body of the can around the cracked portion of the baffle. I used safety wire to secure the makeshift seal in place until we got back on ship and could properly repair it. Worked like a charm!
10. Get pumped
Either you’re this guy, or you need a way to cope with this guy:
Fortunately, whichever one you are, the cure is the same. At the end of the day, the best use for a can of Rip It is to get you to feel like it’s the beginning of the day. So grab one and get ready to juice life, one hack at a time.