'Semper Fi' looks like the military knockoff of 'Prison Break' and 'The Town' nobody asked for


VIDEO: 'Semper Fi' Trailer

I tend to have a light touch when critiquing new movies based on a trailer alone. But after watching the teaser for Semper Fi, an upcoming prison break movie starring a whose-who of A-list actor lookalikes who decide to break their Marine buddy's kid brother out of the big house, I can't fucking help myself.

Directed by Henry Alex Rubin, Semper Fi stars Jai Courtney as Callahan, a Marine reservist and police officer in Pennsylvania whose half-brother Oyster (played by Nat Wolff) accidentally kills a guy in a drunken bar fight and tries to flee the scene, only to be arrested by his own brother and, eventually, sentenced to 25 years in prison.

Stuck behind bars, Oyster has only one chance for freedom: A bunch of Marines fresh off a deployment to Iraq decide to bust him out. 'Rah.

It's like he's screaming: YOU'RE NOT MY DA- DIRECTOR!(Prison Break/IMDB)

So Callahan and his Marine buddies — a gaggle of certified geniuses named Snowball (Arturo Castro), Milk (Beau Knapp) and Jaeger (Finn Wittrock), who uses the surefire method of "hey, I'm a Marine" to try to get laid before shipping out to Iraq in the trailer — hatch a daring plan to bust Oyster out of prison.

What is that plan, you may ask? Well, actually, I don't know, because it's around this point in the 2-minute trailer that I simply stopped watching. I made it through on the second go-around, but I still have no idea how they intend to pull off the jailbreak.

At one point, one of the Marines shoots a lock on a fence outside the prison with a sniper rifle from a foot away, with no explanation offered on what he's doing and why; another devil dog-turned-criminal mastermind watches a prison bus through a rifle scope. We catch a glimpse of some car chases, and there's lots of yelling, moral conflict, and some poorly sung cadences. The trailer is clearly designed to tell viewers that, yes, these are Marines, in case the title wasn't clear — and everything else is irrelevant.

This first glimpse of Semper Fi makes me think they wanted to make The Town, in terms of style and tone, and borrowed some (or all) major plot points from Fox's Prison Break. Hell, the filmmakers even went so far as to get Ben and Casey Affleck lookalikes for the leading roles.

But while every aching fiber of this trailer wants you to believe the characters are more than MARPAT uniforms with a pulse and strong jaw lines, I'm just not buying it. It's like a bunch of movie execs said to each other "Well, this has been done before. How do we make it different? I've got it! Let's stamp an EGA on this baby and toss in a bunch of random mil-shit that's based on stuff we've seen from movies, that based it off stuff they saw from other movies."

Actually, it reminds me a lot of CBS' ill-fated JAG knockoff, The Code. Spoiler: That didn't end well.

Semper Fi hits theaters Oct. 4. We can't wait...

It has been a deadly year for Green Berets, with every active-duty Special Forces Group losing a valued soldier in Afghanistan or Syria.

A total of 12 members of the Army special operations forces community have died in 2019, according to U.S. Army Special Operations Command. All but one of those soldiers were killed in combat.

In Afghanistan, Army special operators account for 10 of the 17 U.S. troops killed so far this year. Eight of the fallen were Green Berets. Of the other two soldiers, one was attached to the 10th Special Forces Group and the other was a Ranger.

Read More Show Less

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Documents from the Pentagon show that "far more taxpayer funds" were spent by the U.S. military on overnight stays at a Trump resort in Scotland than previously known, two Democratic lawmakers said on Wednesday, as they demanded more evidence from the Defense Department as part of their investigation.

In a letter to Defense Secretary Mark Esper, the heads of the House of Representatives Oversight Committee and one of it subcommittees said that while initial reports indicated that only one U.S. military crew had stayed at President Donald Trump's Turnberry resort southeast of Glasgow, the Pentagon had now turned over data indicating "more than three dozen separate stays" since Trump moved into the White House.

Read More Show Less
Sigourney Weaver as Ellen Ripley from 1979's 'Alien' (20th Century Fox)

Editor's Note: This article by Gina Harkins originally appeared on Military.com, a leading source of news for the military and veteran community.

QUANTICO, Va. -- Marines who spend much of their day lifting hefty ammunition or moving pallets full of gear could soon get a helping hand.

The Marine Corps is close to signing a deal to test an exoskeleton prototype that can help a single person move as much as several leathernecks combined.

Read More Show Less
NEC Corp.'s machine with propellers hovers at the company's facility in Abiko near Tokyo, Monday, Aug. 5, 2019. The Japanese electronics maker showed a "flying car," a large drone-like machine with four propellers that hovered steadily for about a minute. (Associated Press/Koji Sasahara

'Agility Prime' sounds like a revolutionary new video streaming service, or a parkour-themed workout regimen, or Transformers-inspired niche porno venture.

But no, it's the name of the Air Force's nascent effort to replace the V-22 Osprey with a militarized flying car — and it's set to take off sooner than you think.

Read More Show Less
In this March 12, 2016, file photo, Marines of the U.S., left, and South Korea, wearing blue headbands on their helmets, take positions after landing on a beach during the joint military combined amphibious exercise, called Ssangyong, part of the Key Resolve and Foal Eagle military exercises, in Pohang, South Korea. (Associated Press/Yonhap/Kim Jun-bum)

Task & Purpose is looking for a dynamic social media editor to join our team.

Our ideal candidate is an enthusiastic self-starter who can handle a variety of tasks without breaking a sweat. He or she will own our brand's social coverage while working full-time alongside our team of journalists and video producers, posting to Facebook, Twitter, Instagram (feed, stories, and IGTV), YouTube, and elsewhere.

Read More Show Less