Since Harambe’s untimely death in May 2016, the silverback gorilla’s stern likeness has graced everything from t-shirts to tote bags. “Dicks out for Harambe” was practically the catchphrase of the summer. Eulogy songs were sung. Memes were made. Expensive Harambe tattoos were etched onto biceps. Writers spilled gallons of ink explaining what it all means. Then, Harambe suddenly vanished. Or so we thought.
Now, nearly a year after his tragic death, Harambe has surfaced once again, this time as a Flamin’ Hot Cheeto for auction on eBay. The listing showed a picture of the Cheeto, which at first glance looks like nothing more than a red-hot baked lump of cornmeal. But then, when placed alongside a picture of a gorilla climbing a tree, as it was in the eBay listing, it becomes instantly obvious what it actually is: a Flamin’ Hot Harambe.
The Harambe-shaped Flamin' Hot Cheeto that sold for nearly $100,000Adam Linehan
Think about this. How often do you take the time to look at Cheetos when you’re eating them? Never. The consumption of cornmeal snacks is a purely mechanical process. Hand goes in bag. Snack goes in mouth. That’s it. It is, therefore, truly remarkable that someone discovered this hot and cheesy reincarnation of Harambe (may he rest in peace). And it’s even more remarkable that they had the audacity to sell it.
Whoever it was (a genius, presumably) is now, as of Feb. 7, a hundred grand richer. That’s right. The winning bid was $99,900, made by someone with a long and impeccable track record of following through with their eBay purchases. Think about that the next time you eat anything without first closely scrutinizing it to see if it even vaguely resembles a famous person or animal. How many thousands, or millions, of dollars have each of us literally flushed down the toilet? It’s a depressing thought to consider.
There’s another important lesson to be learned here: The power of Harambe is alive and well. In fact, there are now tons of Harambe-shaped Cheetos up for auction on eBay, and people are paying good money for them. So, yeah, Harambe wasn’t just the flavor of the month. He was, and is, much more than just a silly internet meme and an excuse for men to expose themselves in public. Like Shakespeare and Mozart, he’s one of the immortals. A hero of an entire generation. My generation. Looks like we’re going to be seeing a lot more dicks out in 2017.
Benjamin Franklin nailed it when he said, "Fatigue is the best pillow." True story, Benny. There's nothing like pushing your body so far past exhaustion that you'd willingly, even longingly, take a nap on a concrete slab.
U.S. Coast Guard Petty Officer 2nd Class Karl Munson pilots a 26-foot boat while Petty Officer 2nd Class Gabriel Diaz keeps an eye on a boarding team who is inspecting a 79-foot shrimp boat in the Gulf of Mexico, off the coast of New Orleans, La., on April 27, 2005
Radio transmissions to the U.S. Coast Guard are usually calls for help from boaters, but one captain got on the radio recently just to say thanks to the men and women who are currently working without pay.
DOVER AIR FORCE BASE, Del (Reuters) - U.S. President Donald Trump traveled to Dover Air Force Base in Delaware on Saturday to receive the remains of four Americans killed in a suicide bombing in northern Syria.
Trump, locked in a battle with congressional Democrats that has led to a nearly month-long partial government shutdown, announced his trip via a pre-dawn tweet, saying he was going "to be with the families of 4 very special people who lost their lives in service to our Country!"
Former President George W. Bush is calling for an end to the partial government shutdown, which is about to hit the one-month mark and is currently the longest shutdown in US history.
In an appeal made on Instagram, the 43rd president called on "leaders on both sides to put politics aside, come together, and end this shutdown." The caption was posted with an image of him and former First Lady Laura Bush giving pizza to their Secret Service detail.