The new Netflix ‘Space Force’ series sounds way better than the actual military branch


VIDEO: To boldly go where no man had gone before, and destroy everything

It's been nine months since Netflix first announced that Steve Carell would star in new "workplace comedy" Space Force, and the streaming giant has finally delivered us a slate of beautiful babies to populate what we're praying will resemble The Office in freakin' outer space.

Seven actors, including the legendarily droll John Malkovich and rubber-faced Ben Schwartz, have joined the cast of Space Force as members of the team that, led by Carell, is tasked with actually building the sixth branch of the U.S. armed forces from the ground up, Variety reported on Thursday.

The additions of the Academy Award-nominated Malkovich and comedian Schwartz — best known for his role as incompetent hype-man Jean-Ralphio Saperstein on Parks and Recreation and, I shit you not, the voice of the droid BB-8 in the new Star Wars movies —are exciting in their own right given their comedic range.

But the Variety report also includes fresh character details for Carell, Malkovich and Schwartz, as well as newly-cast regulars Tawny Newsome and Diana Silvers and guest stars Jimmy O. Yang, Don Lake, and Alex Sparrow, all of which help paint a picture of what Netflix's ambitious workplace hullabaloo will actually look like.

America, meet your new Space Force:

  • The Boss: Steve Carell plays Mark R. Naird, "a General tapped by the White House to lead a new branch of the Armed Forces with the goal of putting American 'Boots on the Moon' by 2024," per Variety. I bet you $20 the real-life White House surprise-announces a "Boots on the Moon" mission within weeks of the show's premiere.
  • The Science Chief: John Malkovich will play head science advisor Dr. Adrian Mallory, described to Variety as "brilliant, arrogant and hoping to prevent space from becoming the next great international battlefield."
  • The PAO: Ben Schwartz will play F. Tony Scarapiducci, "a self-centered media consultant whose Machiavellian goals only sometimes line up with those" of Carell's character, per Variety.
  • The Military Brat: Diana Silvers plays Carell's daughter Erin, "a popular and an A-student in Washington DC [and] an outcast in Wild Horse, Colorado after transferring to a remote military base and turns to delinquency." Sounds like a country song.
  • The Pilot: Tawny Newsome plays helicopter pilot Angela Ali, per Variety: "Described as ambitious and competitive, Ali has secret dreams that she keeps close to the vest." Expected aviation readiness jokes, maybe.
  • The Tech Guy: Jimmy O. Yang plays Doctor Chan Kaifang, the "right hand man" Malkovich' character who Variety describes as "a brilliant astrophysicist and rocket engineer who immigrated from China as a teenager and loves all things American, from fly fishing to the Baltimore Orioles."
  • The Gopher/Scapegoat: Don Lake, will play Brad Gregory, Carell's "gatekeeper and assistant" who is "actually a one-star general in his own right." I can't wait to FOA this guy's jacket.

Last but not least is Alex Sparrow as The Russian, or Yuri "Bobby" Telatovich, a "charming observer from the Russian Government" who Variety describes as "curious about many things in Mark's life, like his daughter, or the tech specs of the Javelin missile."

Too real, man. Too real.

It didn't take long for a central theme to emerge at the funeral of U.S. Marine Pfc. Joseph Livermore, an event attended by hundreds of area residents Friday at Union Cemetery in Bakersfield.

It's a theme that stems from a widespread local belief that the men and women who have served in the nation's armed forces are held in particularly high esteem here in the southern valley.

"In Bakersfield and Kern County, we celebrate our veterans like no place else on Earth," Bakersfield Chief of Police Lyle Martin told the gathering of mourners.

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An Air Force Special Tactics combat controller that "delivered thousands of pounds of munition" during a close-range 2007 firefight in Afghanistan was awarded the Silver Star on Friday.

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ROCKFORD — Delta Force sniper Sgt. First Class James P. McMahon's face was so badly battered and cut, "he looked like he was wearing a fright mask" as he stood atop a downed Black Hawk helicopter and pulled free the body of a fellow soldier from the wreckage.

That's the first description of McMahon in the book by journalist Mark Bowden called "Black Hawk Down: A Story of Modern War." It is a detailed account of the horrific Battle of the Black Sea fought in the streets of Mogadishu, Somalia, in October 1993. It claimed the lives of 18 elite American soldiers.

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The July arrests of 16 Camp Pendleton Marines in front of their 800-person battalion was unlawful and a violation of their rights, a Marine Corps judge ruled Friday.

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Navy SEAL Eddie Gallagher will retire as a chief petty officer now that President Donald Trump has restored his rank.

"Before the prosecution of Special Warfare Operator First Class Edward Gallagher, he had been selected for promotion to Senior Chief, awarded a Bronze Star with a "V" for valor, and assigned to an important position in the Navy as an instructor," a White House statement said.

"Though ultimately acquitted on all of the most serious charges, he was stripped of these honors as he awaited his trial and its outcome. Given his service to our Nation, a promotion back to the rank and pay grade of Chief Petty Officer is justified."

The announcement that Gallagher is once again an E-7 effectively nullifies the Navy's entire effort to prosecute Gallagher for allegedly committing war crimes. It is also the culmination of Trump's support for the SEAL throughout the legal process.

On July 2, military jurors found Gallagher not guilty of premeditated murder and attempted murder for allegedly stabbing a wounded ISIS fighter to death and opening fire at an old man and a young girl on separate occasions during his 2017 deployment to Iraq.

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